Jon's Blogazine!

April 7 Gal

2009-04-07T22:22:00.005+08:00

Today's blog goes out to Mel! My FF(Friend Forever)...not BFF though. Kena demoted la you...hahahahha

Well, I picked up a few songs to put here, but apparently I can't enter Youtube today(God, why have you forsaken me?). *Updated as of April 10 lol*

(Thanks to Thime for the awesome song, and to Mel for intro-ing me to the band lol)

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So, first thing's first! HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY-ay-ay-ay(Ala Rihanna)

Gawd, I was thinking of what to talk about since this morning when you told me to write this up...So, here's what just pops into my mind:

Boobs...hahah just kidding

Er, well this is the first year in like...3 or was it 4 years in a row where I've gotten you a present...and this time I can finally say, the best things in life are free right? O wait, the internet...electric for comp, monitor, light, battery for keyboard and mouse, house tax...oh god! This is the most expensive gift ever @_@

Meh, well I doubt there's much to say when a girl turns 19... Let's see, if I was a gal at 19 my life plans would be:

1. Get banged already(lol)
2. Get around 3 boyfriends already(Lol lol)
3. Name both my boobs(Squeeze & Me)[Felophle]
4. Get married when I hit 27ish(Since I'm a guy, I'd get married when I'm 28-30ish)
5. Kap chai day in and day out(Slut much? Hahahahah)

Nineteen...the last teenage year, Here's some advise from a guy who just hit puberty this year Mel:

Experiment. And by experiment, i mean try out EVERYTHING! Then when you get old(Haha, see you're not old NOW, you will grow old later...like maybe tomorrow =P), you can say..."Hey, remember all the stupid things we did when we were teenagers? I'm so glad I'm more mature now"

Try out something new everyday before you're too old to do all that stuff!

Agent Mertyle; Lethal Weapon 1,2,3,4
"I'm too old to do this sh*t"

Every time he says that, he still turns around and does some crazy-assed shit didn't he? So go out and rock the world!!

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K, enough of happy-and-on-drugs-Jon, now to reset myself a few years back...

Man, wish I went to KDU to suprise you today lol. That would be waay past awesome huh? And just a little bit stalkish *Gasp!*

I was thinking of getting you a shirt when I went to Mid Valley last week ya know? I saw this one that went like:

Buy-Sexual
Buy me things, and I'll be sexual

Hahahaha... you still wear the last shirt I gave you? Hopefully you're still small so can fit it ><

Driving already? I'll be driving after June... then maybe I can go lunching with you heehee

I still miss those times when we'd talk past 2am. We should talk more...

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*Kills emo Jon before it's too late*

Lol, k "I'm" back again. So... here's to you, the gal that started it all, the half a gun that made me a son of a gun(AK-47...cut the K-4, you get A-7, April 7 hahahah), Happy 19th Birthday Mel, may your dreams come true, and may you come in your true dreams *Snigger*

Love what you do, and do what you love kay?

Love, Jon :D

April's the Fool

2009-04-01T20:35:00.005+08:00

Yay! Seem's like it's my 2nd birthday of the year ^^ Happy April Fool's folks!

Well, I can't lie really, this year's AF is really lame. (AF as in April Fools and Akademi Fantasia...lol just kidding bout the latter. It's ALWAYS lame)

Oh god...I can't think of shit to write, and pardon my french but...what i write is pretty much bullshit hahaha

Well, anyways~ It's the trials for us A level folk at Taylors...and what does Jon do during trials? Play more games, and just relek rite? =P

So...today was Chem 5..prac writing. I finished like 25 mins early...had nothing to do, so... I came up with a new J-tech!!!! Wootz!

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J-Tech : Work

My latest pickup line is pretty simple. Should be used when you wanna get to know someone's dreams and yet at the same time to a little subtle..(ok its not THAT subtle) flirting.

Situation goes like this:

J: So, what do you see me working as in the future?

G: *Blah blah blah* (Who cares what the girl says anyways right? We just want some poontang LOL)

J: *Laughs sarcastically at her lame job she's gonna give me* Well, to me... you look like you're gonna grow up to be my wife.

Rofl, well the wife part is of course...overdoing things. But you can throw in other things like a playboy bunny(U wanna say she's hawt), model(Cause you wanna say she's beautiful), etc.

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So that's the latest J-tech i came up with during Chem 5...hahhaha man Pure Math 3 tomorrow, this is gonna tie my ballsack like a monkey's fist knot!

Heeheee have an awesome April Fools peeps! Here's Jon saying...hastalabyebye...baby

Catch up time!

2009-03-20T20:37:00.002+08:00

These are my 2 best latest songs... which I'm listening to. Younha's a staple ear-diet for me ^^ Yael Naim...She's a wild card I got from my serend-ability =P

Oh God...I haven't touched me blog now have I!? It's like being revirginated. Gotta deflower it!!

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Time for some J-Techs(Jon Techs!)

Latest of the latest: The Come Test

This one's a cake to pull off and great fun for friends(Of opposite sex of course!)

Say you're fashionably late to whatever it is you're late for...Then you pull this line off: "Did you come early?"

Haha double meaning of double meanings *Wink wink*

2nd latest J-tech: The Kasut Gajah V2.0

Kasut gajah V1.0, is so old... I'm not gonna go near it. So here's Jon's version!

KG2 is pulled off best on a friend whom you think you'd wanna hook up with, or just want to know the current status of your relationship. Don't worry, it's so subtle that only crazy people like Jon would understand first hand.

How it's done? You first ask the person...If it's a girl and you're a guy... "If I was a gal, with the same character as I am now, and you're a guy do you think you'd fall for me?" and vice versa. But this technique is oh so risque. If they actually figure out what you're doing...you're fished.

But if they don't realise it, then there's 3 things that can happen.

1. They tell you how they honestly feel about you now as it is. JackSpot baby! You can do whatever you want here on end.

2. They tell you about what they'd like to change about you...as your alter ego of course *Wink* It's a good way to reinvent yourself in this manner. Then you could tell them what you think of them as a guy :P

3. You get a flat out..."No". Well, tough luck my brotha. Maybe get to know them a little bit more? Heh.

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Jon's Dicky!

Today's word : JackSpot

Originated from the term Jackpot and G-Spot. Highly influenced by the Tamil "Kaiepoderan" (To jack off) and also Jon... Lol

Definition : 1. A spot on which a man jacks off
2. Term for "hooray" moments
3. Cumshot stain(Lol)

Used in a sentence : "Jackspot!"

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Awesome bosom! Guess my work here is done... Frickin trials next week. What the hell man @_@. Wish I didnt have my comp to distract me(Hohoho what a lie)

Till next time mates~ Jon's saying..."Mon maitre, je vous consacre ma vie" and a simple good bye! ^^

The Minority Rule

2009-03-02T21:56:00.002+08:00

Let's play a game of minds. It's called...The Minority Rule.

The rules of the game are simple, To play the game you'll "invest" 10 dollars as your bet. There can only be 10 players in 1 round of the minority rule. That makes a total pot money of 100 dollars to the winner.

The game starts off with 1 random contestant making up a Yes/No ONLY statement or question. All players will then cast their ballots to answer. Those who are with the minority move on. The majority looses. Simple isn't it?

Example of statement/question:
"I am a man"
"Is Jennifer Aniston hot?"
(Note: The answer doesn't have to be correct/true, as long as you're in the minority...you win)

Example of possible majorities:
First round - Possible majorities : 6-4,7-3,8-2,9-1
(Note:It is possible to win in the very first round itself)
Second round - Possible majorities : 3-1,2-1
(Note: If it ends up as a 1:1 final, the prize money is split in half)

In the case of a tie, a new question will be drafted by another player and a recasting of ballots will be done.

Note: You can form alliances, you can betray friends, you can do anything except change your answer.

When casting the ballot, you will sign your name with a "Yes" or "No" written on the paper and the date, which will be confirmed by an outsider judge. You may bribe the judge...If you can, but that would have you forge another person's signature. Good luck.

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Have fun with this gamble/mind game of mine ^^

69er Delta

2009-02-26T22:02:00.002+08:00

Blog #69! Wow unbelievable @_@

This is gonna be a short one, so let me drop some awesome knowledge for the lassies out there,

"It's not in a man's nature to show affection unless you tell them to"

Lol, that's it =P

"Vous avez bien fait la preparation? Ca va etre amusant" - Have the preparations been
completed? This will be fun.

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Next blog is...The Minority Rule

The DL Syndrome

2009-02-24T22:11:00.002+08:00

Today's blog goes out to all those who have their love ones across the seas, or even a 20 minute drive apart from each other. This one's for you Kit Kit!

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The DL Syndrome

First up, what's the DL stand for? It's called Digital Love! Just like the song! Get it? Haha

I think from that tiny little hint, you might get what I'm talking about...yeap, it's about LDRs(Long Distance Relationships) again.

"The distance is what keeps us apart, but it also keeps our hearts closer"

Such is the fickle thoughts of those in LDRs. But really, it's hope that drives those things. Not being able to hold the one you love in your arms is pretty much like not being able to breathe air. So what's the next best thing we can do to get closer?

SMS, email, calls, and many such other forms of communication... All digital.

In our modern era, it's kinda sad that no one goes to the post office to send handwritten letters or anything... It's all just at the push of a couple of buttons. Why is it so? Well, love is impatient when it isn't cherished. We can't wait for letters to arrive. Those just take too long don't they?

"The moment we see each other, those moments...I wish they'd last for eternity"

The DL syndrome is among the most dangerous syndromes among the many many out there based on the 2 main factors:

1. You forget what they look like over time.
Believe me you when I say pictures don't really say a thousand words. Over time, you try and fit that face you fell in love with into those pictures and yet, it just doesn't seem to "click". You're human...you'll forget them.

2. You're overly suspicious
Remember that digital love is really just that. In love with a digital presence. You're pretty much sms-ing to an answering machine which has the personality of the person you love. How'd you even know it's them sometimes? How can you trust them every single day?

Sorry to be pessimistic, but it's the truth, DL and LDRs are just a pain. Datte oreda(Believe me)

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Gomen for the rain on your 5588km parade Kit. Just need to knock some sense into you. If you read this anyways. Haha.

Eee! The Yin Yang post..really biting me in the butt. Shud never had it lined up. Grrr... O well, all in due time.

Till next time and Happy 3 Year Anniversary!!! WoooooW!

Happiness

2009-02-23T21:34:00.002+08:00

Kim Dongwan feat. Younha - Promise MV

Sarah-neechan's song! Heehee

Today's blog is dedicated to those who got into Uni today and those who are emo-ish-ish.

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I remember the day in Form 5 when that crazy teacher came up and asked me, "What do you want in life?"

I replied : "Happiness"

Lawl, what a joke! But really, I do want happiness.

My whole life's about being happy really. I betcha there isn't a day where I'm not happy at all. To tell you the truth, I haven't cried in over 2 years. And I just can't seem to force myself to cry...even after chopping so many onions that day...haiz, my fingernails all yellow from the kunyit...*Sidetracked*

Er...back to topic... So what's happiness anyways?

From Bokura, "Happiness is like a warm cup of coco on a cold winter's day"
From Jon: "Happiness is like 3 girls all over your body sliding up and down totally naked"

Hahahahaahaahhahha...okay bad-good joke. Well, to me happiness is really like... something soft and cuddly and warm around you... hugging you. 95% chance it would be a girl, 2% chance a ghost, 2% chance family members and 1% chance of aliens trying to probe your anus.

My greatest idea of happiness?

Maybe it's lame, but I just wanna lie down on a grassy field with a soft breeze, starring at the clouds and just fall asleep. Doesn't really matter if I'm alone while doing it. But that's like...ultimate happiness in solitude.

People always say that the happiest day of your life is when you get married and you'd remember it for the rest of your life...I think it was the day I got my PlayStation! ROFL just kidding... Meh, who knows right?

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Sorry for the lame-o-ness of this blog... But i wanna go "study" aka, pwn noobs.

Ciao da maoz ^^

Another Dream

2009-02-22T20:36:00.002+08:00

Orange Range - Viva Rock!

Heehee today's blog is called "Another Dream" for a reason! Well, ya'll know I wanna be a dentist since forever...right? So basically what IS Jon's Plan B? Lol, medicine or pharmacy wud b a normal sense. But I opted for something "cooler"

Not many know...well no one knows this, but I actually really wanted to grow up to be a martial artist. Just like how Nubuo Uematsu wanted to be a pro wrestler but turned out to be one of the greatest musicians of our time...This is another one of Jon's crazy assed dreams.

So...what kinda martial artist would I be? Well, I learned Taekwondo. Didn't really help me much to say the least, but I wanted to go into Jujitsu.

Lol, I didn't really know what Jujitsu was until I was like 15...So the most of my kiddy life I wanted to be a Karate/Taekwondo martial artist. I remember the days when I was less than 100cm and trying to peep into the window of the Taekwondo lessons at Taman Megah... Nostalgic...

Well, what's so great about Jujitsu? Hmm, well it's among the most defensive martial arts out there. It mainly focuses around grabs that can disable your opponent. But the problem is you need a relatively big boned body to efficiently subdue your opponent...so much for that huh?

So I guess now I would like to try out the other Japanese martial art, Ninjitsu. But lawl. No thanks.

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Yin Yang blog...oh god, lazy.

Next blog's entitled "Happiness" look forward to it!

Ciaoz~

PS:
Those goin to IMU tomoro say hi to my sis for me haahahaha
Good luck in IMU Sam and Wei Hoong ^^

Growth

2009-02-20T22:56:00.002+08:00

I guess it's time for a Jon update! Let's see how much I've grown!

My music now is...Rocky..mixed with Jazzy and Techno. What do you call that!? @_@
Top songs are...

Orange Range - Viva Rock

Megaman X4 - The Father Of All - OC Remix

And...Younha's new song ft. Tablo - Memory

Animes I'm watching? Er, still Naruto and the basic essentials. I need a new love anime btw! Any recommendations?

New sayings...er..."Limousine" haha

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EMO section

Man...I miss everyone so much. All goin off to Aussie. Haiz...
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Must exercise! Dattebayo XD

Bye bye~

Randomness again

2009-02-19T21:53:00.003+08:00

"This is thy sheath....there rest, and let me die"
Romeo and Juliet, Shakespear.

Let's see how much crap i can talk about this one.

Well, I guess a rant about how much I hate actors and acting shud be fitting. Haven't talked about that in a long time =P

Acting...oh god, here goes. I hate actors. I hate acting. I do it on a daily basis, so I hate myself.

To me, the only important thing in the world is leaving something of you for future generations to remember you by.

Right now, I have the Opa clan...and thats all there is to my name. I never created anything bigger than that.

"All humans act like someone they are not"

I'm not really Jon out there. My confidence comes from Sam, my cheekiness comes from Ken ken, my hornyness...okay thats just me. But really, I think I should just be me. So this is going back to the Jon Genome Project(JGP)* again... hahaha

Anyways..I'm like so tired now...cant even rant about how tired I am...nite nite @_@

Younha's Movie!

2009-02-18T17:04:00.001+08:00

Lol, random post about Younha. Here's her first movie's preview!

http://www.nichiyoubini.com/

Check it out! She's so cute and short in the movie lol

Oh yea, check out the Jon Genome Project! Takes only 2 minutes! Thanks XD

The Jon Genome Project

2009-02-18T16:44:00.003+08:00

Wow, another huge project from Jon! Okay, here's the basic idea. We all pretty much know about the Human Genome Project right? Well, while sleeping on the RapidKL bus today...Something hit me, and no, it wasn't the guy who was reading Naruto comic #34 next to me(Lol, i was reading while he read too =P).

"What do people think about me?"

Ya'll know my crazy-ass long nails now right? Those which I'm supposed to cut off on my 18th birthday. But now I'm also thinking of like...really growing up on my birthday.

I asked En Yaw today, "How old do you think I am if you just saw me on the road?" "15, 16 year old kid"

Wow, honestly, I'm flabbergasted. I look 2 years younger than my age. And I act another 10 years younger...

So, I just really want to discover who I am in your eyes. If you're reading this and you think you know Jon...if even just a little bit, please tell me who,what I am to you. Don't hold back even if it's offensive. The whole purpose is for me to better myself, and to discover what people really think I am.

Thanks alot in advance if you do contribute to this project! Just MSN me at opalotion2@hotmail.com, email me at opalotion@gmail.com, sms me at my number(Like hell I'll post it on the net) or just pop by Taylors and I'll belanja you lunch ;)

Hopefully I'll discover who I am in people's eyes by my 18th birthday!

Till June 11, au revoir mon ami!

I hate Facebook.com/Jon

2009-02-17T22:04:00.002+08:00

Here's a I-hate-facebook blog for all you fags out there. Taken from the "Things you didn't know about FACEBOOK" group on Facebook(Thanks goes out to Kry), here's the whole post:

Did you know...

- That FACEBOOK was launched on February 2004 by the Harvard drop out Mark Zuckerberg (who was 19 years old). By the end of the month more than half of the undergraduate population at Harvard was registered on the service.

- that June 2008 Mark Zuckerberg paid a 65 million dollar settlement to close a long- running legal battle concerning whether Mark stole the FACEBOOK idea from his former room mate [R].

- That FACEBOOK has more than 175 million active users (active at least once a month) and more than 700 employees [A].

- FACEBOOK is only a low security web service. This means that you should never use the same password for your FACEBOOK account as you use for more important services (e.g. webmails or netbanking).

- that FACEBOOK leaves quite a few cookies in your browser which enables other Internet sites to identify your FACEBOOK identity. (If your browser does not accept these cookies you won't get access to your FACEBOOK account).

- With more than 10 billion private photos FACEBOOK is the no. 1 photo sharing application in the world. Agreeing to FACEBOOK Privacy Policy means that you waive all your rights, as they can use all your photos freely [A,B]. (Nobody knows whether this claim would be legal in court).

- That FACEBOOK reserves every right to register and keep all kind of your private information and FACEBOOK activities – even after you eliminate your profile” [B]. You are immortal.

- that the general counsel of FACEBOOK, Ted Ullyot, is a former attorney of CIA, famous for neglecting privacy issues in CIA’s war against terrorism [P].

- that FACEBOOK "does not guarantee that User Content you post on the Site will not be viewed by unauthorized persons” [B].

- FACEBOOK is informed about your activities from over 40 big Internet sites that have partnered with Facebook [E].

- That the owner of FACEBOOK Mark Zuckerberg has rejected offers in the range of $975 million to hand over Facebook. If FACEBOOK is sold, all registered private information will be handed over to the new owners – even after you have deleted your profile! It means you have no control who will end up with your personal data.

- October 24, 2007, Facebook has agreed to sell a 1.6% stake of the company to Microsoft for $240 million. This means Microsoft, as an exclusive third-party will get access to all personal FACEBOOK information [M].

- How come? Because in cyberspace private information is hard value – and all kind of private data is recorded on FACEBOOK.

- That Mark Zuckerberg, founder and owner of ca. 30% of FACEBOOK is the world's youngest billionaire (worth 1,5 billion Dollars) [N].

- Have your ever wondered why FACEBOOK advertisements often feed exactly your personal needs? Because an intelligent system analyzes cyberspace behaviour on a personal level to maximize the value of your personal information.

- that FACEBOOK is assigned to the legislation of California. The national Danish institutions have found that the FACEBOOK privacy is intimidating Danish privacy legislation (www.fs.dk).

- that after heavy public debate Mark Zuckerberg (owner) admitted that FACEBOOK receives personal information from other Internet sites without users permission (even after the user has deactivated his FACEBOOK account!) [E,F].

- that even though you change your name, email, address etc. your old data can still appear in the FACEBOOK Friend Finder.

- that typing your mobile phone number in your FACEBOOK profile increases the risk of mobile spaming.

- that in the past year 1,000 applications was officially shut down by FACEBOOK administration for privacy violations. Don't trust any FACEBOOK application [K].

- that 34% of the Danish population is active on FACEBOOK. The highest percentage (and probably the most boring place) on earth.

- that eg. the Danish Federal Bureau of Investigation had advised people in certain positions (eg. police officers) to delete personal information on FACEBOOK. Personal information can easily be misused [J].

- that, even though FACEBOOK claims to have high security standards, two MIT students were able to download over 70,000 Facebook profiles, using an automated script? [F].

- that normal state of the laws often have little effect in cyberspace. This means, that if somebody starts e.g. a FACEBOOK campaign claiming you to be paedophile, drug dealer etc. normal civil rights will usually not protect your reputation.

- that a big number of FACEBOOK profiles are professional fake. Think twice before accepting a friend request from a stranger [I].

- that people with strange sounding names (such as "Lesboe", "Allien" etc.) can have their FACEBOOK accounts deleted without no further explanations - even though these names means nothing in the local language.

- that FACEBOOK accounts with more than 4.000 friends are often closed down with no further explanation. This is not mentioned in FACEBOOK's Term of Agreement [O].

- that Facebook removes photos uploaded by mothers of themselves breastfeeding their babies (accounts have even been deleted for this reason) [F].

- that in the near future your Facebook account may hold not only all of your photos, but your movies (streamed to your HDTV), home movies, and music files. This means that cyber privacy becomes an even more important issue in the future.

- that by using FACEBOOK you are an essential part of the global cyber economy. Personal information about you is being transferred between partners you probably never heard about [F].

- that recently a number of serious viruses which attempt to infect users by promising free videos have been tracked (October 2008). Take care and don't follow strange links [H].

- that psychologists have introduced the diagnosis FAD (Facebook Addiction Disorder) as a new kind of addiction disorder [Q].

- that professional hackers are stealing users' Facebook profiles and selling them to criminals [S]

- that everyday pictures are deleted by the FACEBOOK administration with no other reason than "violation of terms of agreement". The reasons for such (often quite subjective) censuring will never be explained to the user [G].

- that by "posting User Content to any part of the Site, you automatically grant, and you represent and warrant that you have the right to grant, to the Company an irrevocable, perpetual, non-exclusive, transferable, fully paid, worldwide license (with the right to sublicense) to use, copy, publicly perform, publicly display, reformat, translate, excerpt (in whole or in part) and distribute such User Content for any purpose, commercial, advertising, or otherwise" (FACEBOOK terms of agreement).

Most information has been marked with a letter. Click on the link to see references:
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/topic.php?uid=5585067263&topic=5838

Enjoy Facebook folks. ^^

Hitmitsu : V

2009-02-16T21:13:00.002+08:00

Welcome to blog #60! The tell all for the Himitsu : V Project! The Yin Yang theory shall be explained in a few days time. So, hold on to your...okay its not exciting at all...:'(. Let's get started shall we?

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Okay, honestly, ppl shud really check back my old blogs when i tell you to, but I guess i'll just have to depend on human ignorance to pull off my plans anyways hahahah.

Himitsu, it's Japanese for "secret", so Himitsu Project is the not-so-secret Secret Project(Lol..porject, sounds like porn and ejaculate, i love it when i type fast).

The Himitsu Project spans across a 2 year timeline, starting since last year. Back then i didn't have such a "cool" name for it, i just called it "The Plan" and it was such a dumb one. But now, with my awesome map of all possibilities drawn out(Selling for 10 bucks. See how Jon's mind works! Awesome shit), i've deviced the ultimate plan for revenge, love and drama-nesss. Hahaha.

Well, Himitsu : V is goin to be explained today...so what's the "V" stand for anyways?

V is for eVil, Vendetta, Vengeance.

Yea, it's a stupid plan, but i loved every moment of it. The non-existent power in my hands almost felt like power for a while. Kinda went to my non-existent brain. Lol!

So what was the main agenda behind this plan?
Basically, screw dickholes who don't do their jobs.

So anyways, I'm kinda busy now...I'll just upload the 2nd class page i finished after my nap in the afternoon. Kry's cryin again :) Ciao folks!

PS: Lol, note the Heroes and Naruto bit i threw in! A Jon work of dickness. ;)

The Big 5

2009-02-15T12:17:00.008+08:00

Wow, what on earth could i mean from that title? Is this some Yu-Gi-Oh crap from Jon?

Nope. None of it in the tiniest of sense.

Today I'm gonna talk some philosophical stuff. So feel free to close your web browser now or just scroll FAR down to read my other posts. This blog post is heavily inspired by the works of Masashi Kisihimoto(Naruto), Miyamoto Musashi(Gorin-no-sho - The Book of Five Rings), Buddhism, Hinduism and some Tibetan stuff and...Avatar : The Last Air Bender. You have been warned. Might take you about 10 minutes to read through it all. Lol. Double warned!

I know what you're thinking. "Omg! Jon reads books! Wth!" Lol, actually I just read whats "cool" to me. Meaning, "lame" to you =]
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Chakra

Chakra, that which means "wheel" in Sanskrit, also...my favourite spell from Final Fantasy 9(LOVE Amarant XD). I didn't really read tru the whole post in Wiki...But here's what I feel chakra is. Not understand(Lol, have fun reading)

Well to me, the concept of chakra is kinda like life energy floating in and all around us. Like the blood in our veins, to the breeze in the air. Everything around us has it's own energy and it's somewhat "alive".

Just recently, I watched Oprah and heard that meditating increases our lifespans by about 10%! Thats gotta be cool. So I tried it out yesterday on Valentines!(O yea, there wasnt a Valentine's post this year, cuz...i was busy *Wink wink*)

ANYWAYS! After swimming, I went to the Sauna and just tried meditating. Controlling my breathing, feeling the heat enter through the pores of my skin. The sound waves from outside the room... I tried to soak in everything at once while sweating my butt off! XD

What did I gain? Well, I dare not say I achieved Moksha, or Nirvana of any sorts, but I really did feel like so light in that moment. It was like I wasn't sweating in the hot room. I couldn't feel hot. Totally funky feeling man!

Lol, I'm running off topic again =.=

Okay, back to the Chakra stuff. Anyways, from the diagram I showed earlier, you can see that there are 7 chakra "gates". In Naruto, there are 8 gates, but more on that later.

The main gates are:
1. Muladhara (Sanskrit: मूलाधार, Mūlādhāra) Base or Root Chakra (last bone in spinal cord *coccyx*)
2. Swadhisthana (Sanskrit: स्वाधिष्ठान, Svādhiṣṭhāna) Sacral Chakra (ovaries/prostate)
3. Manipura (Sanskrit: मणिपूर, Maṇipūra) Solar Plexus Chakra (navel area)
4. Anahata (Sanskrit: अनाहत, Anāhata) Heart Chakra (heart area)
5. Vishuddha (Sanskrit: विशुद्ध, Viśuddha) Throat Chakra (throat and neck area)
6. Ajna (Sanskrit: आज्ञा, Ājñā) Brow or Third Eye Chakra (pineal gland or third eye)
7. Sahasrara (Sanskrit: सहस्रार, Sahasrāra) Crown Chakra (Top of the head; 'Soft spot' of a newborn)

Basically, its about feeling the energy around those parts of your body. Letting them flow through one another like a pool of water. Instead of allowing your chakra to spiral, you direct it upwards and down. It's like...Awesome. XD

In Naruto, there are 8 celestial gates which Rock Lee and Gai-sensei are able to open.(First explained in episode 49 of the original series, the fight between Rock and Gaara)

Sexy ain't it?

Well, basically, to increase one's power, one can forcefully open the gates to allow chakra flow to maximise the body's potential. Nice concept Kishi.
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The Big Five - The 5 Elements

(Jon's Extract comes from the Japanese and Mahābhūta sections, Yin Yang concept, and Avatar : The Last Air Bender)

Generally accepted in many many many cultures, there are *about* 5 main elements.
Quoting "SaintKoe" from the OM Naruto forum section,
"In Wu Xing there are five elements, fire , water , wood, metal and earth.

In Hindu and Buddism there are five elements, Vayu/Pavan (Air), Agni/Tejas (Fire) , Ap/Jala (Water), Prithvi/Bhumi (Earth) and Akasha (Aether).

In Godai there are Chi (earth), Sui (water), Ka (fire),Fu (air) and Ku(void/heaven/sky).

In Greek there are also 5 Air,Fire,Water, Earth,and Aether.

In tibetan there is 5 Air , Fire , Water, Earth and Space."

Interesting isn't it? Well, personally, I think that there are 5 elements too. Fire, water, earth, wind and...I guess the "Void/Aether" element. In Naruto, they choose Raiton(Lightning) as the 5th element, heh. There also is the concept of the 6th and 7th element which are the "Space Element"(ākāsa-dhātu)[Pronounced as Akasha! From DotA lol] and also "Consciousness element"(viññāṇa-dhātu or Shiki (識))

Each and every single element has it's own properties. Linking not only to the Physical state of it, but it connects to human emotions, spirituality and other aspects.

*Taken from Wiki* (Stuff bolded are what I feel are cooler/important)

Water - 水 (sui or mizu), āpo-dhātu (Liquid Element)

"Represents the fluid, flowing, formless things in the world. Outside of the obvious example of rivers and the like, plants are also categorized under sui, as they adapt to their environment, growing and changing according to the direction of the sun and the changing seasons. Blood and other bodily fluids are represented by sui, as are mental or emotional tendencies towards adaptation and change. sui can be associated with emotion, defensiveness, adaptability, flexibility, suppleness, and magnetism."

Earth - 地 ( chi or tsuchi), paṭhavī-dhātu(Earth Element)

"Represents the hard, solid objects of the world. The most basic example of chi is in a stone. Stones are highly resistant to movement or change, as is anything heavily influenced by chi. In people, the bones, muscles and tissues are represented by chi. Emotionally, chi is predominantly associated with stubbornness, stability, physicality, and gravity. In the mind, it is confidence; and emotionally it is a desire to have things remain as they are; a resistance to change. When under the influence of this chi mode or "mood", we are aware of our own physicality and sureness of action. (Note: This is a separate concept from the energy-force, pronounced in Chinese as qì (or di) and in Japanese as ki, and written alternatively as 気, 氣, or 气.)"

Fire - 火 (ho, ka or hi), tejo-dhātu(Fire Element)

"Represents the energetic, forceful, moving things in the world. Animals, particularly predators, capable of movement and full of forceful energy, are primary examples of ka objects. Bodily, ka represents our metabolism and body heat, and in the mental and emotional realms, it represents drive and passion. ka can be associated with motivation, desire, intention, and an outgoing spirit. Besides the obvious examples of heat and flame, lightning can also be thought of as an extension of Ka."

Wind - 風 (fū or kaze), vāyo-dhātu(Air (or wind) element)

"Represents things that grow, expand, and enjoy freedom of movement. Aside from air, smoke, and the like, fū can in some ways be best represented by the human mind. As we grow physically, we learn and expand mentally as well, in terms of our knowledge, our experiences, and our personalities. Fū represents breathing, and the internal processes associated with respiration. Mentally and emotionally, it represents an "open-minded" attitude and carefree feeling. It can be associated with will, elusiveness, evasiveness, benevolence, compassion, and wisdom."

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WHEW!!!!

Longest post ever? Not really. But its definitely the most interesting post which is not love-related which I've typed. Well, the 6th and 7th element...I'll go into that later.

To those who actually read through this whole post...I take my underwear off to you.(Greatest honour known to man by Jon) And I thank you humbly.

Oh, and I realised I never talked about it...But I think I belong to the element of...SUPRISE lol... just kidding. I think I am of the water element. One that grows with time, able to adapt to my surroundings and go with the flow.

Hope you liked this! Next time, "The Yin Yang Concept"! LOL Just kidding, I'll prepare that blog in time my friends. All in time.

Till next week, ciao da mao, and ces't la vie! Jon OUTZ!

Au Revoir

2009-02-13T20:48:00.002+08:00

This blog goes out to Kye Ling, the queen of Opa, forever and ever...Opa!

*Omg, cow cow! Send me the pics from that day la*

Ahh, the bong bong times spent together. The BB, the opa, the 2J, 5A and everything. Once again you're goin off to the land down under... Gonna miss you :(

Man...i suck so bad at goodbyes. S'why i hate them so much. So, I'll just say what I can think of...

I wish I gave you a hug goodbye.

I wish I could see you off at the airport.

I wish I had no tuition to screw up the last goodbye moments at college.

I wish I had cycled there and be a man.

Sorry for all my stupidity from last time, and have fun back at Aussie okay?

Bye Kye Ling! Have a safe trip! Come back soon to the land which we all call home, Malaysia.

Feb 11, The Angryversary

2009-02-11T21:05:00.003+08:00

Ahh yes. The one time in my life i get so angry and just bottle everything up. So what's this anniversary of? Oh, just some stupid little thing. But none of that...ever is gonna be posted. Lol.

Anyways! Story time! Gather round all ye and hear my tale of glee... And it all starts off like this:

*Follow "I'm Just a Kid" Tune*
Woke up at 6.15...waited till 6.30,
to go take a bath and try to poop...
Nothing came outta my ass so I went and take a bath...
what the F**K, my eyes were all red...
So I remembered that I slept at 2am...
and here it goes,
I'm so F*cked up, and life's gonna be shitty.
Should never sleep at...Four-thirty, till 8pm,
Cuz you know you're gonna get f*cked...

Oh god, I hate making lyrics. Anyways....here's the actual story

So my eyes were all red, momma got me eye drops(I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE eye drops!!!) I knew this was a crappy day ahead already. So i get to college, bus life was usual, pretty gal from SS1 sat behind me. Lol. I remember when we used to sit together...oh well.

Since class starts at 9, I thought, HEY! I'ma go to the library to "study"(Go and pwn sum noob forumers in Naruto forums lol). So I went to scan my frickin ID, and hey! Guess what!? I'm so hot, i melted my bloody card. So i had to drag my feet to the Student Central. Cough up 25 bucks, and found out that the damn accounts department only opens at 9am. SHIT!

From there, I dragged back to C8, the class of the whole damn day. Found out there was a physics exam. Sweeeet. So i sat there...bored, I went to the Web. Scanning was clear. So i sat down to print my shit out, and maybe re-watch Gossip Gal S2E17. After all that, I saw Hazim! Wow~ Chit chat and guess what again! I FORGOT MY THUMBDRIVE!!!! ARGHHHHH NOOOOOOO. At least it was just 1GB...not my 8GB baby T_T

So that's another what...15 bucks? (-40bucks in total). So I go back to C8, grab my form for the new ID, go back to the accounts dept. pay the cash...then go to the cafeteria, BROWNIES XD Day goes on as usual, Jon's newest joke?

"What do you call a Chinese vagina? A cina pek pek." Lol, i rock so hard sometimes.

So tiba tibe during bio lab, sum jack..sorry, jennyass bitch comes in to bite me in the anal trap. Yes, I knew this day was coming. The day The Himitsu : V Project's epic phail. F*CK! What an awesome day it is. So now, the deadline's on friday. And I'm goin out on friday. And Kye Ling's leaving on friday. HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK! That sucks bitch ass from the cunt!

Yes, I am that pissed off about Hitmitsu : V.(See first blog for less info)

And the creme da la creme of the day. The moment i get to go home. I thought..."Hey, go back early! Dont gamble!" DAMN was I wrong!

I sat like a jackass under the 30degree Celcius sun. Fuckin burnin my ass off for 50 minutes waiting for the RapidKL. Stood there for the whole 20 minute drive cuz its so fucking full. Man, i was pissed off.

And thus, ended the Angryversary. I lost 40 bucks, had to fix the H:V project, burnt my ass off, got fuckin red eye, and blew off one of my testicles from the anger. Woohoo!

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Anyways, the anniversary thing....wow. Really. Should I? Haha. Nah.

Okay, piss off! Jon outz

Say....ings

2009-02-10T23:12:00.002+08:00

Okay, gotta get something off my chest first... "Hi, I'm Jon, and I'm a shopaholic." Hahahahah damn you companies and your super duper offers with awesome shirts.

Welcome back to another of my crazy-assed-long blogs. Please click on the "x" button of your browser to save the next 30 seconds of your crappy-as-it-already-is life reading my crap. Or, just enjoy your stay here :)

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Okay, the year is 2k9, the kao kao year. Cow year too ;) So I've pretty dam much decided, not to get into the whole gal crap nonsense(Confused? So am i) cuz Valentine's is comin up. God, the super expensive roses, chick flicks galore(Yipee! Bride Wars XD), and everything's dyed in pink. Anyways, I pretty much made up my mind for this year... *Wink*(Bug flies into eye, lol) that I wanna focus on Jon. The man needs to be like Teri Hatcher in DH rite now. Just enjoy solitude.

"You can feel lonely in the most crowded places in the world, and yet, you are not alone"
This saying ticks off that last part. I think I heard this in Sunday School...maybe form 2 that time. @_@

"A day without laughter is a day wasted"
Ahh yes, a Jon classic. Ever seen me angry? Nope. Everyday is laugh laugh laugh. Then...EMO. Lol. Then back to more laughing.

"We mask ourselves to others to not let them see our true selves, so much so, that we become masked to ourselves"
Love this one. It's from sum famous philosopher, Socrates? Meh, can't remember. Heard it on Criminal Minds. This saying totally hits me right in the nuts...a bit to the left. I don't think I'll honestly ever go back to being Jon ever since I got the whole Jon Jon act goin on. Ahhh...curses =P

"Consider the fact that my left testicle hangs lower than my right testicle"
Lol.

"Pardon my French, but f**k you"
Double lol

"Mushi pussy?"
Lol-desu.

Kk...nites. Thanks goes out to Kry for reviving my blog-o-spirit. Whenever a friend is in need....of pussy, go to Kry. Lol.

Btw, 1 month anniversary is tomoro! Wow! Awkwardness to the maximus. Well, I'll make a song in the library tomoro. See ya guys ^^

The Cat Incident

2009-02-09T20:58:00.002+08:00

Lol...if only I had a video camera... Well, today's Georgie's class was so dam funny XD

Story goes like this, around 6... I started hearing noises like "Riaorrrrr" Then I thought to myself... "Omg, are those cat sex noises I hear?" Cuz, well ya know, my neighbour's cats make love behind my room all the time =P

So bein the whole genius on the cat sex subject, I asked Brenda..."Hey is it just me or are those cat sex noises?" Then Amar was all like making horny faces. Lol lol lol. Then like 5 mins later, the *Riaorrrrrr* noises went on for like 1 minute long. Totally realised it was just a god damn drill.

So, moral of the story is: Drill noises makes Amar horny ;)

Rofl. Ciao folks

Scuzes

2009-02-05T20:08:00.002+08:00

Rite....So like...I'm liek toally liek nto bolggin mcuh nemoar.... n liek ima liek tlak lkie dis.... Okay damn its too hard(Thats what she said lol)

Anyways, not been bloggin much no more...since...THE incident. Rofl.

So, just for your info, this blog's gonna be an archive of historical events in mah life for the time being...or till i get Photoshoppy again and then I'll change it into a photoalbum...I'm lazy to open up Bucket, sue me.

What's my main excuse for not blogging? Well, Kry sucks dick. Not...lol...so not. Er, it's not that I'm at the comp and shit. Its more like...when I blog, i kinda shoot the gun before reloading it. Get it? I guess I tersampai sebelum terlancap LOL. What I'm sayin is, I kinda spill too much. So the best way to say nothing, is to say nothing. S'all.

So ciaoz ^^

The New things in my life - S1E 1

2009-02-01T22:01:00.004+08:00

Lol, welcome to the long(Not so)awaited blog since..god knows when. Well, well well well well well well... So what's the craziest thing I've done lately?(GND line! ^^)

Hmm, well, craziest thing I've done lately is so crazy it's dumb. So, in avoiding looking dumb, I'm not gonna say it. Lol. Only if I trust you =]

First up! Happy Birthday to Melissa Goh!! 13 is an unlucky number! But...=P

All right, let's see what's new!

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The new mall Tropicana City is like TOTALLY OPEN!!! WOOTZ 10 minutes drive away from my house! XD Got a Gamer's Hideout! ROCK ON!!! Man...can go makan makan wif amoi! Finally dont hafta take such a long ride over here and there @_@

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Er... I took the IELTS exam recently! The guai lo speaker dude was kinda cool. We were like totally trashing the gov. Rofl. I got "Advert that made you REALLY wanna buy a product"

The listening test is so... boring. You'll totally lose track of what they're saying...then POOF. Marks gone =P

Then there's the reading exam...caker than pie. That's how easy it is. Cake-r than pie. Lol, new line i made. Just as long as you can read as fast as me...it's crap easy. How fast does Jon read? About 130 words a minute. Nothing much ;) Took a speed reading course lol!

Lastly, the written exam...god... I love these! Title i got was er..."A country could not and shouldn't provide more places for the younger people in universities cuz it brings no benefits" Nice place to hentam them nicely =]
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What's happening online? Well... There's my non-existant Facebook account with 200 friends. Lol. A blog that just got revived! Un-be-re-va-be-re! My youtube account has hit...3272 videos watched!! Awesome! Check it out here! And that totally reminds me...

*Pause a moment*

A big rest in peace to Troy Dixon, "T-Bag", of Pure Pwnage. He lived a life of pronagery. His, was a talent greater than all the Halo players out there combined. Salute to the man!

Okay...then there's my Garena...still level 16. But hey. Thats life. And I just bought Left 4 Dead! Wootz. It kinda sux donkey dick. Lol. Well, that's just my say on it. Don't take any offense mates.

I've also rekindled my love for Domo-kun! XD

Love it so much that i want tonnes of Domo toys for my 18th bday this year!! *Wink wink* Screw Patrick Dog! Domo-kun ftw! XD
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O god...How i hate my new time table. F*ck is the only work to describe it...if you're not Jon that is. If you were me, you'd say... This so f*cking sucks donkey diarrhoea that fell on top of cow shit which was covered in bull vomit with firecrackers from the Chinese people in Palestine being attacked by Singaporean kamikaze jet fighters flying on gigantic "Happy Niu Year" signs made from paper mache done by Neil Buchanan on the Art Attack show which got cancelled because they found that Neil was shoving up brushes up his anus for self-pleasure and then Disney got caught because the brushes they provided were from China and Neil got lead poisoning so...he died.

Wow. I amaze myself. Anyways, here's to the new f*cked up timetable! Opa!

Jon outz!

The Things I Do...Part 2

2009-01-19T21:06:00.002+08:00

Ahh Younha so pretty... LOL enough of that XD

Welcome back to the blogazine! Today's topic is about why I read manga(Japanese comics to you artards.)

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"Manga"

Okay, I'm a big fan of the anime produced from Japan... as many know, I have an awesome collection too ;) So why do I love it?

It's pretty much the same reason as why most people go to the movies or simply watch tv. It's not only entertaining, but it kinda lifts you outta your everyday boring life and throws you into a fantasy world where pretty dam much everything can go, will go wrong and right.

Manga obviously lacks in the Audio department. But I highly doubt that you need moving pictures to be entertained THAT badly right? Think of it like a Playboy magazine and your everyday ordinary porno video. Either way the little brother downstairs is coming up...right?

The thing I love about mangas are the Mangaka, which basically translates into the author of the manga. My favourite mangakas range from Akira Toriyama(Dragon Ball), to Yuu Watase(Fushigi Yuugi and Zettai Kareshi), and not forgetting Yu-Gi-Oh's Kazuki Takahashi, Naruto's Masashi Kishimoto...One Piece's Eiichiro Oda(Got quite a nice voice in the movie XD) Lol, thats pretty much the whole lot of them...oh and of course... Hiro Mashima of Rave fame!

Each and every single one of them have their own drawing styles, from Yuu's awesome shoujo work, to Hiro and Eiichiro's rough and crude drawings. Totally works for the feel of the manga ^^

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Lol, I guess thats enough rambling. Tomoro's blog...we'll look at Jon's room!! OMG! The lair of the beast all right! T_T

Lol, I'll just show some pics of my comic collection and the awesome mess i make when i study Hahahahahaa

So peace out folks! Ja ne~

Younha

2009-01-18T21:15:00.002+08:00

Okay dam. She is pretty as hell. Screw it. She's an angel LOL

First time i heard her was from Bleach's Houki Boshi ending theme. But dam son! Her songs rock! XD

A little bit about her... She's a Korean singer who made it minor-ly big in Japan. Mainly thanks to Bleach anyways. Besides that, she's quite an OK-ish chart topper. For more info, check out here Wiki page over here

Btw, one thing that pissed me off while reading her profile... One of those record companies said she wasn't pretty enough!! BASTARDSSSS DIEEEE XD Lol...jkjk. Btw, she's coming out in a movie this year!! Woohoo~ ^^

So here's Jonny's fav Younha Songs! Straight outta Youtube~

Houki Boshi (4/5)

Houki Boshi under Mario Paint!

Telepathy(With eng subs) (3/5)

Gossip Boy (3.5/5)

Secret Number 486 (5 stars outta 5!) - Love her smile at the end. DAMN!

Touch (4.5/5)

Ima Ga Daisuki (4/5)

Time 2 Rock (3.5/5) - Has nice eng subs to sing along ^^

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Haha new record for most amount of Youtube vids I've posted in a post. O yes... anyways, from this list...

Korean songs
-Telepathy, Gossip Boy, Secret Number 486, Touch, Time 2 Rock

Japanese songs
-Houki Boshi(Lol, i think),Ima Ga Daisuki

*************************************************************************************

Rofl, a Younha CD wud b a nice bday gift this year XD Maybe a concert ticket? RAWR

Anyways, it's college tomoro morning...Yucks... Study study! Benkyou benkyou~ Tok shui tok shui!

Mendoksei neh?

Baibai~ Jon outzzz

The Things I Do For...

2009-01-17T11:03:00.002+08:00

Welcome to Jon's 50th blog on this site! This totally has hit a new height, cuz I'm finally halfway to 100! XD

Katy Perry - Hot N' Cold

I think this is an awesome song to show how much I am about blogging. Always either Hot or Cold =/

So...let's rock?
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The Things I Do...Part 1.

-Techno Music-

We all know Jon's into techno! But why actually? Personally, I never was CRAZY techno. But I found out something funny about it as I was watching Heroes a few years back. There was this woman who had the power to hear EVERYTHING... then Sylar killed her rite? Well, I listen to techno to drown out the voices going on in my head. Seriously... I think I think wayyy too much for my own good. My brain is always going on about 10 things at a time. From what to do in the next second, to what the girl in the corner of the room is wearing, to what time it is, to what to blog about... EVERYTHING is frickin killing my mind.

Techno seems to be the only thing that can really drown it all out.

I think my mind should be like... paralyzed or sumthing =P

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Well I think this may be the shortest blogs I've have ever made. So meh. ^^

Sorry bout last nite! I slept at 9 pm...woke up at 9 this morning lol. Badminton ftw~

So here's saying g'bye!

Crushed

2009-01-15T20:35:00.003+08:00

"Only in doing the right things can we understand what we have done wrong"
By me. Lol

Dedicated to the fallen ones and penguin ^^

Boosterz Inc. - Break The Silence

Well, I know it ain't an emo to suit the mood or anything, but it's just nice to listen to.

*************************************************************************************
Today's blog is gonna be a love advise one. I've taken elements from Bokura and personal experience to explain this. Hope you like it as much I loved making these!

"Crushed"
Your heart's pounding, getting ready to explode at any moment. Your palms are sweating and you feel like you're gonna die of dehydration. You feel a pressing sensation in your chest and you can't do anything about it... or can you?

That's right baby. You're being crushed by a crush. It's among the best or worst feelings that can happen to you. You can take it as a positive, or as a negative. You change your usual hunch into a more laid back swing, your strides get bigger by the day, you smile more often when they are around. Once they're gone... it happens again. That sensation that makes you feel like there isn't any oxygen in the world.

So what can remedy this?

Well, there's definitely time. The oldest of any method to cure next to anything...well besides death itself. Personally, I take crushes to be something good. It shows that you've moved on. Maybe if not moved on, you feel that you've finally gain trust in love again. But that's just being naive isn't it? Crushes are a prerequisite to anything related to a relationship. That initial click that just lights up fireworks. And you see...the funny thing is, they are just that.

Just like fireworks, crushes are there mostly for just a moment. Then they disappear. It's all about timing.

Then again, there's the BGI(Bokura Ga Ita) way of handling crushes. I can't remember the number of times I've heard myself say/type this out, but really... It's among the best ways to determine anything in any relationship.

Generally, crushes happen instantly. But there's always a catalyst to the next step which makes you either pursue that crush, or let it go.

In Bokura, Take-kun never let go of his crush. He never did...Well, I think so anyways +_+. When he admitted he liked Nana to his sister, she gave him(and me) the best advise he's ever hear in his(and my own) life.

"Can I make them happier?"

That's the key right there... to every relationship about to sprout, that's the first thing you've gotta answer. This is the make or break to any crush. In your heart you have to ask yourself that one question. Think about it thoroughly. There's no rush in life.

Take out a piece of paper(Or even just open Notepad). Write out how you can make them happier... how you can be part of their life. If it just doesn't make sense, ask your closest friend to look at it. You're definitely going to need someone else's insight on this. Your mind is kinda fluffy as it is anyways. =P

And if things add up, then hey. Just do it. If not, the better thing is to let it go.

Now... this last way to get over a crush, is my own way. It may not be the best, or the wisest thing to do... but it's definitely the fastest way to get over a crush. Personally, I think crushes are generally like bread. Good for a week at most. There after, you don't really need to push it anymore.

If it still lasts after that long. Just AR that mutha****er. Normally after the AR, I'd just keep on fighting. But I just want to focus on myself these days. Selfish right? ._.

Other than AR-ing it, there's also the simple just coming out. Just say it out regardless of the situation. You'll feel a million times lighter, and life just got its kick back in the nick of time.
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So what have we learnt? Well for one, Jon isn't much into crushes. He just crushes them. ^_^V

But to make it simple for you guys, here's the basic overview to get over a crush.

1. The Way of The Pussy - Longest
Let time take its path. This could take like over a year, or if you got it bad, maybe from Standard One till you're in college.

2. The BGI Way - Depends on how fast you are
Honestly convince yourself whether it is either worth it or not... then just go on from there.

3. The Jon Way - So fast it's not even funny
Just AR it for Christ's sake and your own.

4. Just coming out - Instant

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So hey, that's all I've got for now. Gimme a hit back if you'd like this topic revisited in another viewpoint/tone. I'd really like that.

Tomorrow's blog is a J-Philosophy on how i live my life. Ya know, the cocky jackster who is over confident all the time? It's well, not really emo. But not really funny either. I think it should be inspiring @_@ Hopefully la

Haven't come up with a title just yet, but I'm thinking of making it into a series branching off into why I do the things I do like listening to techno, some plans which i plan to explain... and maybe a little insight in the romance of the Jon kingdom. Lol.

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All in all, I'd just like to thank you guys for still coping up with my uber soundlessness on the net right now. I'm still in the midst of something which I'm figuring out on my own. Cause I just watched Oprah and it's got me thinking all over again. Bout the past and present. Ya know. Crap stuff. Hahahhaa.

So here's Jonny saying au revoir! Bye bye~

The Jumbo Milo

2009-01-14T20:09:00.003+08:00

Okay...here's the story of the Jumbo Milo.

Happened on Monday while waiting for Georgie Porgie tuition. So I went out with Jayv, Kavi and Brenda rite... I was looking for a Milo Dinosaur... ya know? The kind with crushed ice, and tonnes of milo powder sprinkled over the top! The milo slushie thingy ^^

And God knows why... But they DON'T HAVE IT AT ASIA CAFE! WTF!

So Jayv said, "Bagi dia tu Milo Jumbo"

...Damn. Lol.

Here's how jumbo it is!!

It's huger than my frickin hand!!! OMG. Cost me 6 bucks summore man. Thats pretty much 3 glasses of Milo put into one jackass of a cup.

Took me 15 mins....But YAY ^^

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Rofl, talk about a shit blog. I feel like shit today anyways. Heehee.

Anyways, tomorrow's blog goes out to Penguin! I think you already know... But I just wanna say it... again. Hahahha. I was your first friend in Form 1 right? ^^ Good times good times.

It's gonna be entitled, "Crushing". A love guru moment! Lol~
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PS:
Just wanna say I'm sorry.

Bye bye, Jon outz!

Loves and Hates

2009-01-13T21:13:00.003+08:00

Hall & Oates - Jingle Bell Rock(It's loud, lower ur speaker volume first...just sayin)

Okay, this is a song i like. But the video...hahahahahaha it's Christmas on crackpot with just a little tards involved. Just watch it and see XD

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Wow, what could Jonny boy mean by that title... Oh I know, it's the top ten list of loves and hates by Jon!!! XD

Omg, I do sound like Letterman now @_@

Things I love!
1. Smiles. I could go on all day. Been there, done that

2. The blue blue sky. The one thing that connects us all.

3. The wind. Kaze. It's just so wonderful...can't describe it

4. Laughter. Best medicine around since EVER. Can't live a day without it. SUK CHUN!! XD

5. Girls. Wow, it's this low in the list! It's true. =P

6. Carbonara. Jeremy!! I want ur aunt's carbonara RAWRRRR

7. Maggie Mee. It's how I keep my slim and slender shape. Rofl. True story.

8. The sun(and moon). I group these 2 together, cuz I like it when they are both out at the same time. Usually around 7.30-8.30 is when they're visible.

9. YouTube. It had to be around sooner or later. Haha.
Just took this picture. Lol. Bit more to get to 3k.

10. Friendships. "Jonathan" - One who makes friendships last. Stupid keychain. Hahahha. What a joke.

Things I hate...grrr

1. Lying bastards and bitches. The truth is among the most important things to me. Regardless how hurtful or whatever. It has to be the truth.

2. High calorie dishes. I've been skinny my whole life. I will be forever. Down with fats!!! XD

3. Noobs. God...How i HATE noobs. Fun to kill, but really annoying after a while. Seriously.

4. Naggers. It's one thing to repeat something thrice, it's another to say it to me the forth time. And yes, I count. I count good.

5. People like me. I hate dopplegangers of wannabe-jons. Don't try to do my act. I'll fix yours.

6. People like me. Yes, I hate you so much. I'll put you guys twice on the list. Heehee

7. Idiotic politicians. Why so low on my list? I love my country, but I could not possibly care less any more about the political situation. I'm just fed up. They're screwing it so much... that I'm just glad they'll get their Just Desserts in the afterlife. And that is just oh so pleasing.

8. Sona. Bastarddddd....LOL Just kidding bro ^^ Er, let's see....Another thing I hate... Oh yea! Stupid bra straps that don't come off. I'd only fight a few things in life, and stubborn bra straps...Enemies...Lots of them around. LOL

9. Crappy internet lines. Another wow-zer? Not really. Jon likes his internet. A day without it is a day without laughter too. So if you give me shitty internet, it's like slapping my balls with a sledgehammer with studded nails, with studded mini nails on those nails, with studded spiky beads to those mini nails studded to the original nails connected to the sledgehammer. Give me internet or give me glory.

Last thing I hate most in the world... Backstabbers. Not Riki, just people who backstab others(Like me woohoo). Yea, how can I live with myself huh? It's a gift...and a curse.

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Blog #45 baby! The big 5-0 is coming up soon! CRAP Homework!! Hahaha just kidding. Like hell I'd do it.

Anyways...Life's been cruddy lately... Kinda getting emo for nothing...well it isn't nothing, but it's just...ARGH. Family problems are annoying.

I guees LFP mode is turned on. Call me kay? ^^
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And oh... Tomorrow's blog is picture day! Hahahhaa. The story of the JUMBO MILO.

Secret of the Poontango is confirmed to be the 50th blog.

Opa is recruiting to start a Taylors Branch! Opa party coming up soon too! OMG!

Kye Ling~ I wanna go kai kai la~

Kuma-nii san! Sayang...sayang...LOL

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Jon saying, au revoir and ciaoz!

Hanabi!

2009-01-12T20:28:00.003+08:00

Ikimono Gakari - Hanabi

Loved this song since I heard it way back when. Still love it! But I really hate the video =P Nice voice but she doesn't move for nuts!

Here's a comic strip from Ichigo 100%. It's after the ending... So spoiler alert! =P

Okay...wow, been such a long time since a jap title blog. NOT! Hahahaha. Well anyways, Hanabi means "fireworks". And i guess this is my "apology" for being a jacking emo asshole =]

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Anyways, pay attention to the comic strip. in the bottom box where it says,
"My feelings are like fireworks, they only shine bright and beautifully for a brief moment... and then... there's nothing left of it"

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That's all for today's blog. Himitsu neh? ^^

Oh yea, Project : I. That's a really good project hitting through right now! I'll publish it when I'm 70% satisfied hahaha. Well, I know it's already out there and all... But I just wanna do it for myself. Selfish huh?

Christ! Homework and everything! Ahh, I guess there really isn't anything much to say now =/ Till tomorrow!

PS:
The Secret of the Poontango. It's gonna be a big one lol. Btw, I'm gonna hit blog #50 pretty soon! It might be the tomodatchi blog, or it may be the secret! See how I feel =P

The secret? It's all in the name. Think of the trinity, the triad and the trio... They have lead and followed in the past. Use that hint! =X

Jon outz!

Paramountness

2009-01-11T21:56:00.003+08:00

Well, i honestly have run outta ideas of what to blog about once again =P

So I guess it's another peek into my life i guess <(^(..)^)>

What's new? Hrm...Jon's growing up i guess. He's doing homework these days *Cough*(Not for long). I'm taking the non-gamer-hood life. It's pretty swell I guess. Exercise? Meh, once in a blue moon. Study? Everyday till the end of June baby. Food? Carbonara ftw! Heehee

Anyways, I just finished watching Titanic and came up with this lame title of Paramount. Cuz something of Titanic proportions fundamentally needs something of paramount heights to find it's balance, no?

So while watching tru the ending, it got me thinking... How will I die? How would I like to die?

Forgive my emo-ness and everything, but I'd like to talk about death once more this week.

You've heard me saying that I'd like to die in a spectacular way. A plane crash, smashing into a meteor and etc.. But when watching the movie, I realised that there is no glory in death. There are the people who struggle to hold on to life...clinging from the bow of the boat. There are those who dress in their evening's best, accepting their fate. Then there are the couples who would lie in their beds grasping each other and wishing to have their final moments together.

So...how would I wanna die now?

Given the choice, I'd rather not know how I would die. Life's a journey we take with death at the end. It's fate. It ties us men all together.

I would like to quote an old friend of mine, Js, from my Maple days. He used to say: "Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die"

It's a sad sad truth really. The one thing that brings us eternal happiness causes us the greatest grief in our life. Jesus died saying "Into your hands I commend my spirit". How many people can truly say it and mean it? I'm pretty sure I can't. I'd be holding on for dear life itself!

From the days of Gensoumaden Saiyuki, "There is no glory in death, only the living can make change in the world" from the great Sanzo(Bishie!!!!)

When a man dies, he leaves nothing but his name. In Titanic, the man John Dawson played by Leo, had no records of him ever being on the ship itself. He was non-existant.

*Random ranting begins*

Jon's a real Gaara in RL. For Naruto fans, you know what I mean.

Gaara, the name that means "A demon that loves only himself". In Naruto, all Gaara seeks for is the reason he's alive. I too have been stricken with that question. I've been wondering about it since the days of Standard 6... When everyone told me I was too old for my age. My mind grew a bit too fast they said. Talking bout sex and stuff... Man was I a screwed up kid.

So... Why am I here? Every year I come up with a different answer to this question. Last year it was... "To make people laugh" it was the comedy of Jon year wasn't it? ^^ Stand up was fun.

The year before that... "To see you smile"
The year before that... "To make you smile"
Before that... "To recreate the friendships you lost because of your stupidity"
Then once again... "To make you smile"
And Form 1... "To grow up"
Standard 6... "To see what the future holds"

This year... I would like to say it's pretty early to say what I'm here for... but then again, in the whole resolute fact, I think I know why I'm here.

"To make others happy"

I remember watching Bruce Almighty, and "God" saying "You have a gift. A gift to make people laugh". We all know Jon's favourite thing in the whole wide world is a smile now don't we? Second in line was the blue blue sky. Third's the wind that blows through the air. Then fourth is laughter!

I'd like to think I have the gift to make people laugh. Well, I'm pretty sure I've got it hahaha. Today I realised something old I asked the people of 5 Angsana. That question...

"Which is more important? The big things in life or... small things in life that eventually make up the big thing?"

Definitely the latter. It's the key to everything in life. From birth till death, from the people you meet and greet... all those experiences. That's the meaning of life. Laughter everyday, the sun shining, the blue sky. It's all there. *Jap* Demo, bokura ga ita. Misete subete.(Because we were there. Seeing everything)

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Wow, paramountness huh? And I did this one totally spontaneous! XD

Jonologues are fun aren't they?

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Anyways, it's college in the morning and i took a 4 hour nap earlier on. >_> Croikey indeed.

So wishing you guys all the best in life... And may you have love in your life and love life itself.

And remember, it's not the Titanic things in life that matters, it's the grains of sands that made the Titanic that matters.

Love... Jon.

PS:
Tomorrow's blog is another emo one. Just saying.

iLAG - Part 3 - Skills that steals my heart

2009-01-11T00:03:00.004+08:00

Wow! It's come this far. Lol, so not that far. Well, before I begin, I'd like to share a picture from tonight's wedding between my cousin Danny Lim with his wife...rofl, can't remember how to spell her name. Hahhahaha *Jon's not drunk, just a dumbass*

Hahhahaha picture of the toilet at the hotel with a guy peeing....Hhahahaha okay. That was so lame.

Here's a pic of me cuz Sona asked for one...>_>

Okay, enough bull crap mixed with spinach and oyster sauce. Here's the finale(?) to the "I'd Love A Gal" series!! Hope you enjoy it as much I hated making it. Lol just kidding. This really helped me see what I want in a gal...and so much more. Thanks.

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I'd Love A Gal - Part 3 - Skills that steals my heart

Oh boy, what can I say... Well, for a large sum of my life, I've definitely been an old-fashioned kinda guy. I look for an old-fashioned style gal too. So here's my list of skills that a girl might have which can totally flip me head over heels, bend over backwards, and trip sideways.

1. Can cook. Baking is more the right word... I LOVE cookies! It's among the top 10 fav things of Jon!

2. Musically inclined. Singing, playing any instrument...I'd love to make beautiful music with my gal.

3. Speaks Chinese dialects(Mandarin and Cantonese mainly) and Japanese. Why Mandarin? Help me order dinner LOL. Why cantonese? Help me scold the kiddies with bad bad words hahaha. Why Japanese? Cause...suki dakara.

4. Sporty! I love gals that can smack some balls around, get a stiff pole into a sweet hole and also smash a cock nicely. And it's tennis, golf and badminton references... of course *Wink wink*

5. Stylish~ I'm not sure if it's a skill, but it definitely takes an eye to have good style. I'd totally fall head over heels for a gal that looks good in good clothes, and I don't mean skanky clothing. Those piss me off.

6. Experience working at Baskin Robbins! All right, i know this is a shitty skill. But I L-O-V-E the ice-cream at BR!!! I'm a frickin fanatic. Any gal that can scoop a vanilla ball can scoop mine any day. *Triple wink*

7. Un-independent. I know, this sounds weird! But I love gals that want me to help them all the time. It kinda gives meaning to my sad sad life. I want a gal who is a seeker of a pleaser, and I do mean to please you all the time. And pleasure too *Quadruple wink* Lol!

8. Dance! Lakukaratcha baby! Get the groove on! Gals that can flaunt it got it! And it bein my heart. We all know Jon's a crazy doo doo head with his dancing... But honestly, I like slow dancing. Specially the Tango! Cuz I'm TB! =P *Random ranting* I hate the modern tango...they're doing it so fast these days...*Curses*

9. Technologically able. A gal that's able to spell Wi-Fi as it is any not "Why Five" is a definite plus. She's gotta know her G-P-R-S from my P-E-N-I-S. Lol, I laughed at that line... =.=' She's gotta know MMS like it's PMS. SMS like a MP3. DVD like a VCD. Blu-Ray from a HD.263 label. A 2.63GB from a 0.0263TB. Okay, nerded enoughed @_@. Well, I just want a gal who can at least type a 200 character sms in at most 2 mins. I type that in like less than 45 secs... I guess.

Lastly, a gal that can communicate well! Obviously! I wanna speak face to face, eye to eye, in private and public and all to the same gal! We'd talk about anything and everything! Being able to start a conversation and continue it till forever is definitely an A+++ skill in my books(Kama Sutra, Playboy...Lol Just kidding)

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Woo! Finally, I'm done(?) with this series! It's been awesome. I'd like to thank Sona for the crappy idea which really turned out much better than expected. And, I would also like to thank Sam for his nonsensical chit chat every once in a while...

Lets see...who else to thank? God... Can't think of anyone! Sorry XD
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So what's next?
#1! The tomodatchi blog is gonna be saved for later!(50th blog to be correct! =P)

The sequel to the iLAG series! I'm thinking, "Gals who fit the lag" but I haven't thought of a better title. I know... I suck so bad. But it's definitely a future project. One which is gonna take more time to write about than others, cuz I've gotta go through my little black book. Hahaa

And oh! Happy Birthday to my Daddy-o! It's his bday now! Yipee! CAKEEEEE RAWRR

So lastly, I'd like to thank Sona once again. Awesome online buddy. But bro, get a life =P

PS:
There MIGHT just be another part to the iLAG series. Ya never know *Wink wink*

Au revoir! Jon outzzz

Jon's Dicky! Part 3

2009-01-09T09:01:00.002+08:00

Ello ello poppets~ Today's blog is from college and in da library. Lol. I've got quite a few words to explain today so get ur memorizing skills turned on bitches!

First up is...

Boner Catalyzer(Adjective)
1. Ref. to Heng Leong, "A girl that give you erections"
2. Jon's definition, "One who speeds up the rate of erection without being changed at the end of the erection"
3. Ref. to Sam, "Lol"

Used in a sentence: "F**k! Elisha Cuthbert is a total boner catalyzer 2009!"

Her Wiki page
Her Google'd first page

2nd word of the day,

Felophle (A shit word)
1. It means "lol"
2. Can be used as any word in the human language.

Used in a sentence: "Felophle, that gal is so dong dong when she's sucking my ding dong"

Abbreviations!!

I'll start with all the "MS"s first~

AMS - All Male Society
Origins: Contrary to popular belief, this club was not organized by Chee Kong. It was made by Fatty Frankie Foo Yew Jin. Dattebayo
Membership: About 40 people at it's peak during Form 3

PMS - Pre-Marital Sex
Origins: Bio lab in Sek. Menengah Taman SEA. Used on Pn. Tang. Lol. Good times

AFS - All Female Society
Origins: Jessica Chan. lol
Membership: One. heehee

PK - Pusing keling
Origins: My mom! Rofl.
Usage: When one FFK's you/BSes alot.

FFK - Fong Fei Kei
Origins : Of Cantonese origins
Definition: To say you're coming but not come at the last second.

BS - Bullshit
Nuff said

lol...I guess thats all i can come up with right now =P

Makan makan time! Eeeeeee~

Solace

2009-01-08T20:55:00.002+08:00

Well, I guess it's back to the life of sheer racism and sarcasm every single moment... But today...today Jon's not feeling like Jon. My uncle passed away at 12pm today. So tonight's blog goes to Uncle Brian...May the Lord accept thee.

Okay, I can hear u guys screaming about me being all emo again. I haven't talked about death since er...What...Form 3? or was it 2? I wasn't suicidal back then la...Stop saying like that =P

So, I guess its time for the emo cap.

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"Death is what keeps us alive"

My famous saying about life and death. Everyday of my life, I wake up and I never thank God for still giving me another day to live. Then one day... A death comes into the family. Your eyes open up, you see life as such an amazing gift. Everything has so much colour. The blue sky has never been more blue. Food tastes like it has been added with 1 tonne of MSG, and a single cup of water tastes like Chivas Regal.

Funny isn't it? Humans...So easily manipulated. Today on the bus...Jon got into his whole "Planning mode" again. I came up with another evil plan. (Hatches in February! Watch your backs!)

"The Circle of Death"

I'll go out on a limb here and say that the makers of Lion King wudn't sue me for this =P

Anyways, the circle of death is a short one. Something dies, it goes back to the ashes from whence it came to become fertilizer/oil. From there, starts the circle of life.

I'd always think of the movie with that stupid circle on the tv screen and the ghost coming out...Scary like hell. XD Anyone wanna go watch The Ring!? Come on over!!! Lol.

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Okay, I guess it's safe to say that Jon's no longer as emo as he used to be... Sorry about my lame ranting Unc.

May perpetual light shine upon thee and may thine soul rest in peace. Amen.

Tomodatchi blog is tomorrow!

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Jon's Dicky Part 3 will be posted in college tomorrow morning around 8-10am...Within that time frame. Look forward to it! It's got abbreviations too!

The iLAG series will be done on Saturday night after the wedding...If I'm still sober and not typing bull shit...o wait, i always type bull. So, I guess if i'm awake... iLAG shall be completed Saturday night... Unless there's other categories to add on. Looks, thinking and skills. What else? Spirituality? Meh, maybe.

Sunday's blog is still TBA. Gimme a nice idea and I'll blog it up, J-style. I am thinking of the advert for my bloggy too!

Join my contest to create a slogan for my blog! Winner gets 10 bucks CASH for the best line! Make it short and sweet, and a little bit horny too for added marks!
Example:
"Poontango, the blog thats just a little bit corny...to make you horny"

From across the Farplane, Love... Jon

Jon's Crazy Dreams

2009-01-07T22:08:00.002+08:00

Today's...tonight's blog goes out to Sam!! RAWRRR Girl Next Door ftw!

Ya'll know the dream of mine to be a dentist, 3 kids, house with swimming pool, own airport, a dog, an elephant, owning the whole North America and Canadia... but do you know Jon's crazy ass shit dreams? And I don't mean dreams where women shit crazy from their asses... I mean REALLY crazy, it's dumb.

In the movie's they always say..."Hey, that idea is just crazy enough to work". I say, "Lol, this is so crazy, you'll go to prison"

So here's Jon's Crazy Dreams! Top 3 anyways...meaning...THERE'S MORE! *Gasp*

#1 on the list has a time limit, and it's drawing close.
This is my craziest dream I've had by far. Been having it since Form 4.

Jon's Crazy Dream #1 : PMS
Lol, this isn't pre-menstrual syndrome. This PMS stands for...Pre-marital Sex! Hahaahah brings me back to the days of Pn. Tang...heehee.

So how does this PMS go?

Ya see, the law in our country states that one is an adult at the age of 18. And we all know Jonny's skipped a year. So now you guys are 18, and I'm 17. This crazy shit dream is...PMS at it's highest level.

If Jon has sex at 17 with a gal that's 18... She's RAPING ME.

HHAHAHAHAHAHAH Yea...awesome plan. Not that I'll do it. It's just a crazy shit dream.

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Now you get how crazy these dreams are?

Jon's Crazy Dream #2 : Total World Domination

I think Ming Fook knows this one. Well, Jon's been a big fan of Dr. Evil, and practically every villain out there trying to take over the world. I think world domination isn't really such a bad idea. It's pretty cool if you ask me. But I'd hate to do the administrative business of the world...Yucks.

So what'll be my first decree as a world ruler?

Clean the Indian population? Smite the Jews? None of those interest me in the single least. What I want to do first, is DESTROY ISRAEL AND GAZA. When Jesus entered Israel, he wept and said "There shall be no peace in this land" And there has never been peace... Even till this day. I shall cleanse that holy land by destroying every grain of sand. Then no more suffering! Yay for Jon! I understand there will be losses of Holy ground. But i feel that the lives of the future millions of people there would be worth a hell of alot more than that piece of land.

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First PMS and now world domination? What could come next?

Jon's Crazy Dream #3 : Becoming MIC president

Rofl, having less than 5% Indian blood in me, I would like to push...nay, KICK...nay, SHOOT...NAY! F**KING RAPE SAMMY OF HIS F**KING THRONE! Yea that's it. Rape Sammy Vellu of his position. Lol, what a crazy dream that would be.

The man who told Indians of countless promises of which none were fulfilled. A man who promised the nation that he would step down if he lost in the elections, and has yet to do so. A man...can I honestly still call him a man? Nowadays, it really irks me...But i have to say this... He is what Malay politicians only dare say in Parliment to call Indian people in the Hokkien dialect.

Wow, i did that so politically. Hahahha

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Ok, this is my last holiday blog from '08 to '09... So I'd like to thank all my fans and friends for giving me the ideas to continue blogging like it was back in the day. I honestly thought that love would be the only inspiration to write, but I guess friendship and just plain boredom is a better choice any day isn't it? Hahaha...

Anyways, I think a tomodatchi blog is in line soon. But I'd like to finish the iLAG series soon too. Tomorrow's gonna be Skillz Dat Stealz Mah Heartz! I think i've got the list down pretty nicely too. It should be the same like what I've told a couple of guys through the years.

What else is there to say...er... I guess the AR is still underway. But i think timing is still not of the perfected just yet...So i'll keep you guys posted.

Hmmm...O yea! My plans this year. Besides going to Uni... Jon's gonna be super active round college! ^^ Badminton club, ping pong club, charity club, adventure club...what else...pool club(If my folks allow) and maybe even the chess club. But ya'll know I'd only do badminton and ping pong i guess hahahahaha.

I've got IELTS and MUET to sign up for as well... So LFP mode is on!

And basically...I wish all my Form 5 friends good luck for SPM this year. Sunday school mates...Lol, even though u guys aint reading this...*Cough*(Bastards) Hope I'll see you around college to push u guys a bit heehee. Mido...Hope to see you some day. Sona, go die you bastard. And I guess that's all my "goodbyes".

So all in all, here's Jon saying Hasta la bye bye and a sweet bye bye to ya'll!

*Ugh* College. Lol. The hunt begins....

iLAG - Part 2 - It's all in your head

2009-01-06T21:20:00.002+08:00

Come, run away with me my love,
And we together shall prove life's desires true.

Can't really remember who said that...o wait! That's me! Hahahahha

Well then, welcome to another awesome round of iLAG courtesy of Sona(Boom headshot to you too). Continued from last time, this time round, we're looking for the things that a girl thinks about that totally drives Jon wilder than Van Wilder(What's up with parents naming their kids after motor vehicles anyways...Just like Van Halen, next there'll be an Aeroplane or a Bus)

Gorillaz - Sunshine In a Bag

Yea, I know not many people like this song...or much rather, the whole band itself. But I do =P I'm only using it cuz it has that whisper part that goes "Cuz it's all in your head" ^^

Anyways, I've got sunshine when a girl...

1. Trusts me.

2. Isn't one to hide her feelings in her mind

3. Looks up to me and isn't afraid to ask for help.

4. Daydreams about the past, future and present.

5. Thinks that body image is second to what I think of her.

6. Can't make up her mind and needs me to help her do it. It's just a cute thing I love

7. Knows my favourite kind of cookie. No, it's not Chocolate Chip. Hint? Wei Guan made sum last time lol

8. Is a horny porny playboy bunny. Lol, this should be #1. Just kidding.

9. Isn't much of a thinker

Last one on the top ten list...I want a gal thats...knows no boundaries to love.

Heehee I guess thats the top 10 mental things I'd Love in a Gal!

And yes, I already know what's next in the iLAG series! Part 3 - Skillz dat Stealz mah Heartz! Lol, zzz indeed.

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K I'd like to say sumthing to my dear readers, I kinda think...well, I know my blog isn't like the general public's one where they totally describe how frickin lame their day is(With added camwhoring and stuff)... But I'm really glad you guys still do read it. It's kinda like a magazine rite? =P

Jon's Blogazine.

Hmm, might change the blog's name soon ^^

~Dedicated to Sona for not getting my back and frickin throwing smoke grenades to disturb my frickin sniping that cost us the game ya dickhole. Lol. Just kidding. Ya always got my back XD

Omg, tomorrow's the last day of the holiday! Like omg to da maxness~ Well, Jon's studying already and I really wanna get into uni...Like Sam *Grr*

Tomorrow's blog is Jon's Crazy Dreams. For Sam! Bros before hoes for life!

Ring Dinge Ding, Jon outz!

Randomness

2009-01-06T14:51:00.004+08:00

Pornography is Hugh's joke against blind people.

Canadian Bacon is worth more than a Nokia N-Gage.

Mario is a Mexican plumber.

Luigi is from Germany and his father was Hitler.

Hugh made millions from making pornographic Braille. (Thats one sexy 3 dots next to those 2 dots)

Pandas are made evil when you invert their black and white colours.

Taking pictures of pandas has no negative effect. (No black and white lol)

Guns are made to be a double-edged sword.

Death is what keeps you and me alive.

And our new Chem teacher's name is Ms Kwek Saw Lian. Kwek kwek. Ducky ^^

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So i just read tru this year's timetable...and by guessing, I think this is the correct one for those who take Physics over at PM08!

And the double period should be on tuesday before 12pm...But I'm just guessin ya know?

Favourite saying

2009-01-05T22:08:00.002+08:00

Hahahhaa this is really good. Oh too good. Anyways, here's the story.

Another love stricken guy comes to Jonny's help right...Not gonna name him *Cough*(Rhymes with Small). So i go give him some advise based on booby metaphors...lol. I know, I'm bad at those. Then he goes about saying...

"I came to you looking for direction... but all i'm getting is an erection"

Hahhahaaha....Lol, went to pee straight after that from laughing XD

So anyways, sorry boutthe delay in the iLAG series, but I'll do it in the morning.

Sweet dreams and Happy Final Day of Christmas!(The twelth day ya dummy!)

Ariverderci, Jon!

10...11...12!

2009-01-05T13:40:00.003+08:00

O heyz. I just realised it's the twelth and final day of Christmas!! Figured it out while walking downstairs to grab sum grub XD

So...i guess i should put up sum pics cuz I've totally been neglecting to. =P
Here's the Christmas tree in my house and sum stockings =.='

And LOL, a little Jon joke for you guys...Me and my stupid balls (First used in the autumn of Form 5.(I think was August rite?)

Narutard!

2009-01-05T11:23:00.003+08:00

I hope this series doesn't overly drag on, but...I'm a Narutard baby XD

Firstly, what the heck is a Narutard?
Basically its a word which combines both Naruto and Retard, making it Narutard. Generally, it is used in the anime community as a nudge at people who are overly crazy over the Naruto series... and believe you me, there's easily a few thousands out there.

Okay, reason for writing out this blog is to point out the fact that i'm not really as Narutarded as I thought i was. Back in the days of Taman SEA, Jon's Naruto collection was the utmost complete collection ever made, because I had EVERY episode from 1 - 220, including movies. And yes, i did watch each and every single f***ing retarded filler episode(All 100+ of them). So I thought I had reached the pinnacle of Narutardness. Gladly, I was wrong! XD

Last night, before the AR blog, i was reading into Naruto Conspiracy Theories over at OneManga's forums(Links to be provided later). And I honestly have to say, they are freaking Narutards to the MAX. They take Narutardedness to a whole new level...Beyond Narutard(Lol, this line goes out to Milo. Haven't used it in a looong time ; ) )

So what theories have they come up with? Naruto's bloodline limit, Naruto's comparison to a dragon, each character having an animal connected to them, Buddhism connections with Naruto, The legend of the Four Gods in Naruto...and many others. These may seem farfetched at first, but given time... All actually makes sense.

So here's the links to read about(If you've got about an hour or 2 to kill)
Naruto's Kekkai Genkai(Blood line limit) - Connection to Dragons and other stuff
The Original Kekkai Genkai post(Part 3, with the older posts spoiler-ed)
The Jiraiya Code Broken!?
The Evil Sharingan

Credits goes out to the authors, WraithX959 and also Gottheim for their awesome work in the Narutard field.

So hope you'll have fun reading about those theories. It's really exciting for Naruto fans regardless of your retardedness ; )

O yea, by request, tonite's blog is iLAG part 2! I think it's gonna be mental characteristics. Since the first one's physical attraction...hhahaha. Kk, ya'll haf fun now ya hear!?

Bye bye, Jon~

The Aggro Rush

2009-01-05T00:03:00.004+08:00

Rofl, yes the Aggro Rush. I believe it has sum s'plainin to do. Just like Jon's many fiendish plans for total world domination...The aggro rush is among the simpler ways to achieve that dream. The aggro rush(Gonna b called ar now for simplistic purposes ^^) is mainly to be used in the sole purpose of filling up Jon's Harem(Occupied by over 1 billion zillion trillion gajillion zillion billion women to date!)

Well since you know it's purpose, why not know where the term AR came from?

As ya'll know, Jon's apparently "pro-ish" in DotA. The term "aggro" in DotA, although not used by many players is a term which means to gain the aggresion of creeps(monsters) close by. The "rush" part of AR is basically noting when your opponent has gained enough aggro, one has to stun,slow, etc the bastard to allow your creeps to rape him/her.

Yes, the origins of the AR is...sadly, from DotA.

But in the RL(Real Life) world, the term AR is used in the tackling of women(By my definition anyways)

Yes gents and penguins, today, I reveal one of Jon's sacred sacrament of lady woo-ing techniques. Lol...

THE AGGRO RUSH

Basically, in RL, AR is a form of highly intense lady woo-ing. The density of wooing is so high, it can choke, and possibly cause pregnancy/girlfriend-hood/boyfriend-hood/life-partner-hood/Multiple STDs/Multiple sex partners/Orgies beyond the human countable number...and etc.

How is the AR performed? Remember the most important ingredient of a good AR is that the density of wooing has to be directly proportional to the time limit of 3-7days, however it must also be directly perpendicular to your libido gradient.

Why the 3-7days time frame? Thats why it's called a Rush.

Omg! How do i calculate my libido gradient!?

Use the following formula: (N x J)/G
Whereby N = Number of times porn is watched in a week, J = No. of jacks, G = No. of relationships you've been in.
When G = 0, that means you're a loser and a freakky pervert. Cuz ur libido is infinitely undefined. Lol

Generally, women like men to be spontaneous. Am I right or am I right? So the purpose of the AR is to allow men to overly subdue that thinking of spontaneousity...Lol i created another word. So anyways, all ya do is overly affectionately show your love without knowing boundaries. And do it all in a small time frame.

Why the small time frame again you ask?
There's a perfectly logical reasoning to this my dear Watson(Lol, Sherlock impression).

This is done to undermine the women's ability to think and talk. I don't deny the fact that women are better than men in the areas of multi-tasking and talking. Especially talking... >_>. The whole multi-tasking thing takes too much brain power, it basically over-rides unimportant memories. So, the purpose of the AR is to input so many short-term memories and all of which are overly romantic that it stays permanent! Genius aren't I? Besides, with all the wooing you'll be doing, there isn't gonna be much talking ; )

So...effectiveness of the AR!?
Honestly, been only used twice ever in my personal history. Has a 50% success rate. Hahaha, but seriously, only try the AR if you've got the balls for it. Any slip up and all the previous work you've done is *Poof* gone.

Stages of the AR:

Stage 1 - Courtship - 10-40% tru the AR time frame
Initial stages are very important. Personally, I'm a big believer in love at first sight. But I also believe that love deserves a second chance...regardless of who it is/was. So the initial impression you're trying to look for when applying the AR is a big WHAM in da face. No, I'm not saying you get a baseball bat and slam it into your lover-to-be's face. Ya gotta WOW them. Go fancy and other shit. Just do it.

Stage 2 - Playful, yet naughty - 40-60% tru the time frame
Use lots of body language signals to make sure they know you're there. Worst come to worst, do a Jon stunt. Jump on the table, handstands. Rofl...I missed those days. O yea, don't forget that doing awesome airkicks gives you bonus...coolness i guess =P

If you're honestly clueless,

For guys: Make lots of body contact. Give a back rub/pat on the back. Think of girls as a cute flower. Nice to see, nice to smell. But how would you know it's smell if you don't pluck it?

For gals: Personally, nothing gets my heart faster than a pretty smile and good food. And I think it applies generally to the male kind. My personal favourite gal-move is one where she walks by, and gives you that side stare with the eyes and a oh-so-heavenly smile half covered by the hair. Beauty's imperfection.

Stage 3 - The Pop - 70-90%
Honestly, once you're in this deep, you both know what you want. So just pop it. Simple as pie. Er...anyone know how to bake pie? XD

This stage is the more risky ones, but with the AR, it should go fine cuz of its overly short time frame. There isn't much time to think anyways =P

Stage 4 - To be or not to be - Finale
Well, if she still rejects ya... Don't fret. The AR is to be used once again. Women are creatures that I consider simple to understand. They value a man's courage. Don't be afraid to propose another outing/date/etc. And men, they get cocky. If you're sure he's sweeter than sugar, and is totally single and not a serial dater... Go for him. But if he's a jackster who goes around telling everyone that a girl likes him, lose that bastard...and come to my arms XD

When do you repeat the AR? Roughly after 1 week over the failed attempt. Cuz what you're going for is a continuous rush of love. As I have explained in my old blog(Which i won't link), love is really short lived at our young age. So make the most of it with the AR.

*************************************************************************************
Who should use the AR?
Honestly, if you just have a small flame for a him/her...and it grew into a forest fire, and you feel that everyday is a hassle to keep them on your mind, the AR is PERFECT for you.

Reasons?
1. Once you pop the question, and you get rejected...Poof, love disappears. If it doesnt, you try try again.
2. It may just work out sooner or later. Faith my good friend. Faith.
3. You think you've just got a bad crush on them and the best way to crush a crush...is to AR the dam crush.

*************************************************************************************

Whew...tired. Mids u owe me one lol. When are u coming to Sg!? Call me XD

So, to my awesome readers, may you have love in your life and love life itself.
(Lol, i totally stole your line and totally changed it Sam XD)

I wish thee godspeed and an abudance of amore in thine life,
Love Jonny!

For the fans of my LC club!

2009-01-04T20:01:00.002+08:00

This one goes out to the Ry gang aka "The Opa LC club" ^^

Woo~ 2 new fans! Awesome. Alright, today's blog is about Jon being lan c. Ahh yes, my dicky-ness has gone to my head in the claims that I have to fufill the people's wishes. Buahahaha.

So here's my list of the gals who've said I look hawt(And the scenes). Rofl. You know you did. I have witnesses =P

1. The "Fab 3"(Kononnya) of 5A
Namely, Wei Guan, Joanna and Li Foong. Rofl. I remember this one well, I was playing with my hair that day in the chem lab then i got a super cool thing going on(Which i have no idea what it looks like) and they were like "OMG, Jon! You look dam leng chai like that la! Keep that hairstyle!!" And I was all like..."Er, go pak tor then i'll do it la". God knows what I did to my hair =.=

2. The bus ride home
Yea, Wei Guan again(Omg, another Jon fan gal rofl). Well anyways, beginning of year 08, I took the bus home from college. Was joking about being able to use the whole "Tall, dark and handsome" line. And she went like..."Yea totally"

3. The Birthday Busters of Taman SEA(Love ya'll! And WELCOME BACK TO MSIA KYE LING ^^)
Okay, you 4 are ALL guilty of falling for my awesome looks *Wink wink*. Hahahha, lan c to da maxness. Anyways, list goes as Cow cow(I remember you said more than 1 time), Kye Ling, Tze Ren(Girlfriend~ Long time no see ^^), and Flo(She...yea i think so). I was doing my biasa rounds around class for the sake of...er...jalan jalan lol then sat at the BB table. Then Cow cow said "Jon, if only you changed your attitude...all the gals will fall for you"...Well the 2nd part's a lie wahahha. But the first part's true. Then Flo follows up with "Yea Jon, you got the looks. Just fix that attitude"

Ladies, say hello to Jon V. 9.67e-BETA. Lol, geek joke.

Wow, I guess those 3 have gotta be the most significant so far. All in the past 2 years...cool. O wait. One more! The most guilty of them all XD

JADE CHAN WEI LING!!! You...you don't touch me woman!! XD Just kidding. But i hope you didn't tell my sis about...ya know what >_>

4. Taekwondo
Every week in Tkd of Form 5...You'd come up to me and say, "Oh Jon, if only you had broader shoulders and just a little bit taller and more muscles too. Totally my type" Hahahahaha you cannot deny that. Too many witnesses ^^

Alright i guess thats enough of my over-cocky-ness-ness-ness-ness-ness-boobies!-ness.

See you tonight for the real blog of the day!

*************************************************************************************

The new system goes like this. I do 2 blogs a day, on request...I'll make a blog out for someone. First blog(Roughly between lunch and 9pm) is just a filler blog. Second blog is by demand cuz i've totally run outta topics of what to talk about after all these years....or have I? *Wink wink* 2nd blog will be published around midnight daily...Hopefully ^^

Tonight's blog gonna be about(By demand of Mids and Momo[Long time no see ^^])

THE AGGRO RUSHHHH

Aggro Rush ftw! ^^

What's it about? Check it out around midnight tonight...unless i sleep early and totally forget to do it in the morning @_@.

*Pegi exercise and write up draft*

Bye bye, Love Jon!

Jon's Dic. - Pt 2

2009-01-03T23:36:00.002+08:00

Welcome back to another episode of Jon's Dicky!

Today's we're going to talk about a few words i use.

A recent brand new word I have created is called "screw off"

I'm pretty sure it ain't in the Urban Dicky...sumthing's wrong with the site... not loading =.='

Anyways, by my definition...

Screw off (Verb)
1. To F*%K off, in a nicer sense.
2. To be used on girls only.
3. Can be used under plural form. (E.g.: You and yo fugly momma and screw off)

*Urban Dicky loads finish* AHHHH DAMN IT. God damn it XD Thought i could chalk up a point for Jonny vs the world. And the world wins again!!

*Quote Urban Dictionary*
1. screw off 28 up, 14 down

(v.) Synonym for "fuck off"... Most commonly used by Hayfield Secondary's Adam Stern

Max: Hey Adam do you want to hear my new rap?

Adam: (with blank look on his face) Screw off....

*Unquote*

Who the heck is Adam Stern from Hayfield Secondary!?

Our next word will be, from the origins of Jayvin, "Jackster"

Jackster (Noun)
1. A jackass

By Jon's definition: "One who jacks off"

To be used in a sentence:
"Man, those rappers are total jacksters trying to act all gangsta carrying their guns around, shooting people, picking fights, have girlfriends with big booty and booby...O wait...those are ganstas! Damn!"

So i guess today's blog comes to an end. *Crosses finger for syndication still lol*

Au revoir and ces't la vie,
Jon~

Jon's Conquest

2009-01-03T19:58:00.002+08:00

Haha this is just my anime conquest list...

Just started reading Ai Kora(Love and Collage)...Collage? Yea I know. Wth does that mean anyways? So, the main character sounds alot like me. Haven't read the 2nd chapter, but apparently, it's very ecchi-ish. So, I'd like to thank Keng Hwa for his awesome contribution to Jon's anime conquest! XD Bro...teach me guitar oso la T_T

So what am I gonna do for 09? Honestly, I'm thinking about stopping from all the animes and just moving back into reality ya know? Its totally messing up my brains. Gotta focus on getting into uni! Unicorns are cool. Wow, see!? My mind just wondered off.

On the unicorn topic however, why are unicorns girlish!? WHY!? There isn't anything girly about horses. There isn't anything girlish about horns, cept for horny gals *Wink wink*. But when you put them together, BAM! Girlish! It's a conspiracy I tell ya!

O yea, this is just a filler blog. Real blog's later tonight/tomoro morning(1 am anyone?)

OMG!! Naruto's BACK and ready to pwn Pain's ass! Kurosaki's gonna get raped by Uloq...shit i still can't spell his dick-hole name. One Piece is moving down to Level 2! Full Metal Alchemist is nearing it's end T_T to-LOVE-Ru's getting juicy with Saki's new home.

Hahhaa...ok till later, time to pwn some noobies! And a sorry to the noobies, but Jon's comin to town!

Ciaoz!

Yume - Part 1

2009-01-02T23:06:00.004+08:00

Sorry for the Jap title, but it means "Dreams". Pronounced as "you-meh"

This blog goes out to Sam, bro for life.

I just finished reading the entire Ichigo 100% manga after 3 days...was it? 1800+ pages in that short time... along with the to-LOVE-Ru series as well, so another 1000+ pages too. Quite frankly, its got me beat up.

The thing ya gotta know about me is, I kinda put my heart into a little every thing i do. A little too much. Another thing is, I hate sad endings. About 90% of the time, I know whats coming up in any story... But when a story ends the way i totally didn't expect, then it's a "Wow" kinda thing ya know. So... Ichigo didn't end the way I wanted to, cuz i totally paired Manaka with Aya all the way through. To see their love end like that...Meh, I cried. Too sad... T_T

And yea, Jon cries from reading comics. Weird huh?

*Enough anime ranting*

I'm definitely boring u guys out with the whole "New Year" concept thing, but it really irks me so that I've got so much material on it. This year, I told everyone already that I've changed. I'm pretty sure its kinda cheesy and all. But honestly, I'm not looking back at the year that has passed, but looking forward.

This year... I turn 18. Jon's legal. So ladies, hands ON the merchandise while you still can baby.

Haha kidding. Dont wanna spoil the emo mood...

What's so great about turning 18? Well, its pretty much a number as everyone says... But in my terms, it's another pinnacle in a human's life. It's the time when most relationships are made or broken up. Why so?

There are many times in a year/human's life that they honestly reflect back on how they were in the last few years. New years day, turning 18, turning 21, turning 30, Christmas Day, Valentines Day, etc. They ask themselves the question, "Where am I going from here on end?". Generally, a person wants to better themselves. Being in a relationship, when the time for self-reflection comes... we ask ourselves too "Where do I see myself with this person 5 years down the line?". Then, the dilemma comes.

You decide what you want in life, you are who you are, destiny is non-existant because i make my own destiny.

So for this year, I've made up my mind what I have wanted for a long time. I will do that dentistry course. I love seeing people smile. I loved seeing you smile. I'm going to better myself because I hated the old me... and all this... I do for myself. I shall answer no one.

The plan then? Simple, I live life to the fullest, I live everyday as if it were my last. Every moment's an aggro rush moment. Every step is a dance step. Every second shall be enjoyed like an hour.

***********************************************************************************

To be continued.

Sorry to Sam for the emo stuff first. Crazy dreams is for another day. I want the bright dreams first... right?

And once again, congrats... I know it was my dream, but you achieved what I've wanted to, and I will achieve greater heights than you!

Not gonna give up...love,
Jon

Boobies

2009-01-02T11:12:00.004+08:00

Rofl, by popular demand...This goes out to K~Ry and A~Ry. "Opa LC Fan Club" ^^

Lol, like my GunBound Art? Maybe we should go play sum time. I can teach u ^^

Hahaha first thing that came to mind when i was in the early stages of writing this was..."Omg, sure nose bleed" Well, fear not. It hasn't bled for er, since the last incident with the pics i think.

Okay so today's bare-all(Yes, i used this on purpose haha) blog, I'm gonna clear up the clouds surrounding my liking of the womanly physique.

"Boobies...yum yum" As said by men all around the world, well, the hetero ones anyways. Yes, boobies are those lustrous, jiggly, wobbly, lustrous(Twice! I know! XD) bountiful bosoms hanging from a woman's chest. O how i could go on and on and on... but nay! Nay i say! I'm just here to chit chat a little right? =P

So what kinds do i like? Ya'll know me and my small booby shit. The 28-32 B Cup(Guess who's one. Lol. Just kidding, i dont even know who it belongs too) *Cough*(Sheena) Rofl. But why doesn't Jonny like big boobies? Well, for starters i always say they scare me. So much so that they can drown me while doing the motorboat. But that's beside the real fact.

Honestly, big boobs scare the hell outta me...because...because...once they get old...they hang like...YUCK I cant imagine this shit. Sorry. But hahahah i guess u understand my predicament now right? +_+

So what's there to love about boobs anyways? Honestly, women will just never understand unless they go lesbo(Yea, its a silent "s"). Boobies are awesome. Nuff said.

Here's my collection from Ichigo 100% covers which i liked ^^ Hahahah

My other collections? Another time. Cry more Kry ; ) Maybe you'll get lucky hahahha

Premonition(s)

2009-01-01T22:56:00.002+08:00

Just like every single "great" palm reader, taoist monk,donkey-shit-spewing-future-telling-gimmick-selling-hunk-a-junk, Jon's gotta give his premonitions for the Year '09! So here's the list!

1. Assasination of Obama? Lol, possibly. But not so if you ask me la...Possibility: 20%

2. Earthquakes reaching 6.8 on the Ritcher. Cuz i had a dream... Freakky huh? Possibility : 1%

3. World market makes Dow Jones hit below 7k...Possibility : 30%

4. Najib becomes Malaysian Prime Minister #6, Possibility : 98.75%, 1% PKR takes over, 0.25% He gets delayed because Malaysia has been reported supporting the Israel war by donating war funds etc. LOL. What a joke...or is it? HAHAHAHAH LOL. K not funny. People are dying.

5. Jon gets another gal...again...Possibility: Duh.

6. Penguin gets gal...Possibility: 5%. I'm rooting for ya bro!

7. Prom night is held at Sunway Pyramid's Hotel...Possibility: 75%, 20% chance held elsewhere, 5% chance its canceled because of riots/natural disaster/Jon destroys Taylors cuz a gal refused him. Rofl.

8. Jon learns to finally drive!? Possibility: 40% forced by parents, 1% forced by friends, 20% forced by gal, 9% i decide to learn to get some mouth to the south, 30% i don't learn at all.

9. Jon gets a post at the Taylors ping pong club. Possibility: 10%, 90% chance of "Who the heck is Jon?"

10. My Msn list finally hits 500 people? Possibility: 20%. Currently 247. If i continue to add those Garena peeps...lol. Habis.

So i guess these are my premonitions, the ones i dont hope to come true are...#1,2,7,8 and 10. Why? Cuz i want the White House painted Black, cuz earthquakes are scary as hell, cuz I want it held at the lake of the new campus under the moonlight, cuz i like goin home with friends, cuz it takes too long to load for this stupid Malaysian intersex. Yea, its called Intersex now cuz of all the porn on the intersex.

Have fun surfing the intersex...love,
Jon jon

"Happy" New Year '09!

2009-01-01T11:41:00.003+08:00

I guess this blog is surviving beyond all odds isn't it? Viewership is less than 20, more than 10. But HEY! Still alive.

First up, Happy New Year and all that... and I've always wondered why is it that New Years are always "Happy". The predictions this year says that the world's economy is going bust. Israel is at war. A black man is in the White House. Global warming caused this year to come 1 second later... and yet, it's still a "Happy" New Year.

Yea, I know i'm totally sounding pessimistic on a New Year. But its kinda bugging me to change who I is. Why do we gotta go round doing resolutions and stuff... =/

But enough about all the shitty ranting. What's there to be happy about today...hmmmm...

I guess a New Year isn't all that bad cuz every year, it's a time to reform all those severed ties. It's a time for change. So I guess i gotta explain Jon's character this year! Ya'll know I'm such an actor right? ^^

This year's Jon is gonna be as sweet as the C6H12O6 molecule itself. So sweet you get type 2 diabetes by just smelling him. Hahahahha. I'm gonna poison you and make you shit out pure sugar from your anus. I guess thats pretty much for my personality this year. Lol...

So, for the final time today...

Happy New Year '09! Yoroshkun onengaishimasu! Genki sudaiyo. Hairimashou. Domo.

Bye bye with sugar coated sugar sprikles with extra honey,
Jon

Resolutions

2008-12-31T16:04:00.009+08:00

Resolution. The ability to distinguish the distance between two objects...in bio. But i guess I'll be using this definition for today's year-end blog. As many of us know, in year 08, we've seen the wacky side of Jon more than ever. So what's comin up in 09!? Kao, the number 9. In cantonese, it means to go attract sumthing like "kao lui" attract girls. So hell yea, tis the season to be horny indeed. ; )

I'm pretty sure Douggie knows what I'm talkin aboot. Anyways, here's the article of 09 which you've been waiting for!

Yea, sorry for the crappy pic. But the important part is the 3rd paragraph. For a clearer pic, you could just go visit the Wiki article here under the "Gakuran" section.

So it kinda got me thinking about the ways people express love and all. There's always the gifts like chocolate and flowers. Then there's the extraordinary ways of professing love like on a blimp, on the gigantic signboard on the most busiest street in town... And then, there's always the simple whisper in the ear, "Hey, I love you". I'm pretty sure people know how i roll on this, but then again, the majority only know me as that crazy dude. I honestly have no idea how i used to profess my love other than my writing.

But definitely, the cheesiest of them all is the conspiracy of Valentine's Day. The origins of that story is for another day. But, not many know this... There's an opposite to Valentine's and it isn't that Chinese Doo-Hickey. It's called White day. Valentine's falls on February 14(2/14). White day is celebrated on March 14(3/14). It's only celebrated in Japan, but I'm totally intrigued with the concept... So, i'm thinking of introducing it across borders. For more info on White Day, go here

*End of Jon's ranting*

Ya'll know of my big aspirations to be a dentist and all. But i never made a back up plan. I never had a Plan B. I never ever liked another gal, i never ever changed my mind. Honestly, I think my life would just shatter into a million pieces if it didn't go the way i planned it. And it seems like it isn't going that way either.

So what does Jonny hope for the New Year? Here's my top 10 resolution list!

1. Funky hairstyles everyday. Cuz it's gonna be fun.

2. Kao lui to da maxness. So far holidays have been fun. Next year will be 9 times betta. Haha

3. I wanna stop all the useless things I'm doing like playing da comp the whole day.

4. I wanna stop doing all the crazy things and go back to being that nice guy you used to like.

5. I wanna enter the university of my dreams and just make one thing in my life happy.

6. I wanna find balance in my life.

7. I want to forget the past, live in the present, hope for the future.

8. I want to grow up and not be Peter Pan anymore.

9. I want to see how much I've changed and be thankful for it.

Lastly, my final resolution is... I wish that I'd kept my promises better.

As I've been saying year after year, Happy New Year, spend the new year with the one you love and don't forget to kiss at 1 second PAST midnight cuz there's a leap second this year. You kiss at midnight cuz the legend goes, that the person you kiss at midnight on a new year is the person whom you'd be together with...forever.

Have a Happy Niu(Ox) Year!
Jon outz~

Love Guru Episode 2

2008-12-30T22:45:00.004+08:00

So a continuation from last time, now you know whether a girl is approachable... what do you do? Okay, this is definitely subjective to the guy in question but i estimate around 70% of guys these days are afraid of talking to girls. Honestly, dig into yourself and think about it. I can say that I'm pretty afraid of coming out in the open with PDA and stuff, but the fact of the matter remains that if one would wanna date a gal, one has to at least communicate on the most basic of levels.

*Jon theory time*

In any relationship, the 3 single most...wait how can it be 3...and also single...*Thinking*... Okay, thats dumb. The 3 fundamentally paramount...lol, also wrong...one means lowest and one means highest...=.=' Er... the 3 most important things are:

1 -> Communication
Talking isn't all the communication that exists. 70% of human communication is non-verbal, meaning it comes down to body language once more. Men can only sub-consciously understand 40% of this 70%, whereas women can pick up at an estimated double of what men do. So, generally no one can control what their body is doing when their minds are not focused on it. What do we do then? Try fixing yourself. My momma always said, "No one can change you except yourself". I kinda find that untrue though... Personally, it's the people who's been around me the longest that have changed my outlook on life. But of course, Jon's moral standards are still the same. Haha

2 -> Together time
I'm pretty sure all the couples out there are fulfilling this requirement. Some may be too much even. The time you spend together should always be cherished. Guys, remember what she tells you, cuz she's not telling anyone else what she is to you. Gals, give the guy a break when he tries to do something overly romantic, at least he's trying. What's most important about together time is balance with the final fundamental ingredient to a good relationship.

3 -> Alone time
Okay, PM08 people definitely know that i've read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" and i totally agree with author John Gray on this matter. People often have a misconception that when in a relationship, every moment HAS to be spent together. By doing this, one basically defies the law of nature itself. Men are naturally built to be able to stay on their own. Physically, they are able. Mentally, they are aggresive in nature and have the attitude to always be the best. Doesn't this seem like the most suitable candidate to be a lone ranger? But then came women. The jelly to his peanut butter, his salt to his pepper, his ivory to his ebony...and baby, i could go all day long but you get the picture.

Women have come a long way since the early days. They have better jobs than most men these days. They have higher admission rates into universities but all these seem meaningless without a companion to share. So, what comes off it? Love my good friends. Love.

*To be continued*

Jon's chatbox:
Hey hey, i'm kinda thinking of giving this series a proper name. LG's not really gonna cut it for me just yet. Maybe it will grow on me sooner or later, but i'm thinking of sumthing more...opa-ish ^^

So good luck with courtship ya'll. Hope this helps.
La lo,
Jon

Michael Scofield-ness

2008-12-30T12:50:00.003+08:00

I'm pretty sure you guys have heard of Jon's Michael Scofield disease. Yes, i've got a frickin bleeding nose...And it's frickin making me sleepy cuz of the lack of blood. I just bled and i took a pic XD

Yea...so if you think that's ink, you're a jackass... Haha now i'm only worried it pours out during college time @.@'

O well, go makan dulu...Later study T_T

Bubu

2008-12-29T21:40:00.002+08:00

Haha was just thinking of good old(young...oh too young for me) Bubu...So kawaii XD

*Searches for pic to put...* NANI ATEH!!! All gone T_T... Lolx, well, it's pathetic to keep her pics anyways. Wahahahha.

So today's blog is gonna be aboot guys and what goes on in our heads about girls! Cuz by popular demand, da Love Guru is in da house! ^^

Act 1, Scene 1:
Guy sees hot girl. What goes on in his head? "Gosh she's pretty, would she ever consider dating me?" Would be whatcha thinking. And I wouldn't say it was wrong. Just inaccurate. Guys never think girls are just "Pretty" and stop there. My kind goes a bit further to say : "Hey! Nice rack and booty". Now thats being realistic. Now, with the dating thing, it's obviously not related to every single guy out there, but generally of course.

What about me you (didn't) ask? Whenever i see a hot girl...hmm, first thing that comes to mind is scanning her out. I'm pretty sure you folks know that Jonny reads tonnes of self-help books to not really help myself, but more to help spread the Jon empire of awesomeness...Of course =P

What do i scan? Only need 2 things. Body language and the people around her. Body language is quite hard to understand without much knowledge in the field, which is why i bought a book about it. Any1 wanna borrow? Lol. Generally, the kind of body language you're looking for is obviously someone who has a good posture. By good posture I don't mean the Ostrich(Walking with the boobies too far ahead of the body) or the Giraffe(Head looking too far ahead), a girl's just gotta be... a girl. Shoulders mid-way back, taking tiny strides and totally lookin cute ^^

Whether or not to approach is simple. How do we know if she's reclusive? Body language will tell it so obviously it's like a gigantic signboard hitting you in da crotch. Obviously the old "H&H" doesn't work here. What's the "H&H"? H&H stands for the Hand and Hair syndrome. Brushing of the hair, and touching your hand. That shows interest that men often consider as "Dam, she's rushy" which i consider as time to pop out the "Sorry, you're not my type" line. Lol. Just kidding. So what kinda girls are approachable? You gotta see the people she's hanging around with.

*Jon theory time*

Okay, we all know girls travel in packs. The normal numbers are 2,3-4 and 5+.

At 2, generally one girl is super pretty, and the other is...not so pretty. This is called the "Symbiosis of Prettiness" theory. It's more of a parasitic interaction where the pretty girl looks even MORE pretty because she's around a not-so-pretty girl.

At 3-4 girls, this is what we would call the "FAB Team". What's FAB? Full and Bitchy. Generally and i really mean oh-so-generally, girls that travel in packs of 3 or girls are often very very reclusive to themselves or else super outgoing with everyone. Those kinda girls either totally piss you off, or just make you wanna try to get close, but WAIT! There's so many of them. How do you approach them? See the problem now? That's why i gave them the FAB title. The bitchy part is obviously untrue, but sometimes, when you try your luck(Like me hahaha), you just get bitched outta the circle. So hey! My advise here for guys trying to approach this group is to simply play mind games. *Covered tomoro morning i guess*

Now, the 5+ group of girls are not very common, but it does happen occasionally and especially at parties. This is known as (Thanks from HIMUM) "The Cheerleader Effect". The cheerleader effect states that a group of women only seem hot, but only as a group. When each girl is taken individually...yuck. It is also known as "The Bridesmaid Paradox", "Sorority Girl Syndrome" and for a brief period during the 90's, "The Spice Girls Conspiracy"...and yes, Scary Spice...indeed.

*To be continued in da morning*

Marishka Hargitay to you,
Jon

Lambs out for a slaughter

2008-12-29T10:37:00.002+08:00

The feed has been laid. The target is sighted. Caught off guard... Boom.

Score one for Jonny.

3 days to New Years

2008-12-29T00:38:00.003+08:00

Wow. I honestly don't know what to talk about. So I'm gonna talk crap... wait, i always talk crap. This should be cake. And here's some random pics lol

Latest music I'm into? She's a couples singer called Penny Trayshun. Say her name a few times really fast. Hahahha. I think you know why i call her a couples singer ; )

What's my fav sport? Duh. Softball! Back in da day, MVP-ness. The home-run hitta. Man...I wish i had videos of myself XD Well, what's there to love bout the sport? Under-hand pitches. Its like a guy trying to grope a person's balls. Lol.

I think I might go back to emo-ness. Meh, not my style. But do get ready for iLAG Part 2 - Abilities. Ciao da mao. Meiyo seiyo. Bye bai

iLAG - Part 1 - Physical Attraction

2008-12-27T22:32:00.004+08:00

Rofl. I just noticed the title halfway... but HEY it's the latest Apple Inc. Product! The iLAG! Not suitable for noob gamers who love to give excuses about lag. May contain small chewy parts, to be chewed on only by women ;)

Alright!! It's finally here! Jon's perfect woman list. I think only the CCTV(Champion Chit-Chat...lol i've got nothing) gang knows about it. Well, anyways, its the champion team comprising of His Most Holy Champion-ness Jon "The Guan Jun" Ng, (Guan Jun is Champion in mandarin lol...thanks to KK for that) KK da Stalker extraordinaire, Heng Leong of the G1 fame, Tim tim of the...nothing fame lol, and Eugene the God of Penguins which will rule the world some day. And yes, the only female member allowed in: Estee ^^

Okay sooo here goes!

I'd Love A Girl - List #1 - (May have future updates)

1. Long hair, preferably ponytail...don't ask why.

2. Hairstyle...ponytail, but i like the ones with the bundled hair at the back with the chopsticks and scrungies and stuff all messed up...sexy.

3. BIG...boo...eyes. Well, i mean no offense to the chinese ladies, but as long as ur eyes are bigger than 1 cm...then okay. Lol. Eyebrows should be less hairy than mine... Lol i finally admitted it. *Heaven here comes Jonny!*

4. Nose...hmm...small small i guess.

5. Lips...Tiny tiny, pink pink, thin thin, kinda like mine lol. Totally Kissable. Where did i put my kissable bottle...meh, another day.

6. Chin, totally Roman chin. I hate clefts. People say you dont notice them. You DO. Well, i do anyways. What's the Roman chin? The one where it points out a little. Like mine ^^. Chinese peeps haf their chin at a 90 degree angle. Lame. =P

7. Face shape... Rounded. Fat-ish chicks rule.

8. Ears...Connected kinda freaks me out. So non-connected. As in, the bottom part of the ear isn't connected to ur head. Cuz i like earrings on a gal, i love em. But if its stuck to ur head... DAM

I think i've covered the face...right? Guess there aint no gal like that lolx.

Now the body. First and foremost, if anyone knows a little thing about Jon, they definitely know i hate big boobs. I find huge boobies as scary as Barbara Streisand without make-up. As scary as the news that Michael Jackson molested a kiddy. As scary as... a day without me. *Shivers* Hahahahha. Okay, lets rock.

1. Shoulders. Petite, so i can hug you all day long.

2. Neckline. Nothing like a giraffe is fine.

3. Boobies...28-32 B cup. Yes, i actually know my favourite size. Rofl.
Quote Estee: "Omg Jon... Might as well not have any boobs la"
My reply: "Er... so what's your size? ;)"

4. Definitely pear-shape. *Rawr*

5. Hips...Honestly, nothing appealing to me. But as they say: You're gonna need a cushion for the pushin'. Meaning, baby gotta have back for that doggy to go wild and not hurt his little play balls. LOL. Just used Sir Mix Alot with pornographic references. I'm awesome.

6. Arms have to be pretty long too. So we can slow dance all night long. And you can grab mah butt! Hahahaha...i keep laughing at my own jokes. What the lame.

7. Shaven or Eau De Naturale? Not gonna answer that... yet. Lol.

Alright...two-thirds done. Final part! GO

1. Thighs. Wow. Really? Hmm... Nice enough to do an Ultima Weapon, but not nice that it can choke me when i go give some mouth to the south. What's an Ultima Weapon? The Don Ewe(From Std. 2) Chronicles will reveal it.

2. Legs, daddy long legs. Please.

3. Knee cap? Lol, dam you Sona. Why this part of the body? Well, rounded i guess lol.

4. Toe-sy woesies. I like toes as much as i like chicken rice. I could eat them everyday, but i feel disgusted when I'm done. Cuz, chicken rice shop has rats. And toes are...toes. But i guess normally shaped toes are fine. o.o whatever that is.

5. Foot size! Thanks Sona. Finally. Something good. Okay, smaller leg than mine. Cuz DAM i remember my shoe size was the same as Joanna's. Frickin hell. It's either i'm small, or she's big.

Okay. That totally completes the physical iLAG part of the series. I hope. Smell ya later, Jon!

7 days to bro-da-hood

2008-12-27T14:27:00.003+08:00

Yes, it's Bro-da. Like Yoda, but only cooler.
It's 7 days to Jerry's bday!!! ^^
Jerry's me younger brother so i guess its gotta be awesome turning 7.

7...seven...slevin...okay. The Seven Deadly Sins Of Man! Let's talk about that! Well, right now, i'm totally into Full Metal Alchemist which features these sins of man namely: Lust(luxuria), Gluttony(Gula), Greed(Avaricia), Sloth(Acedia), Wrath(Ira), Envy(Invidia) and Pride(Superbia). The brackets are the Latin words. Lets see... I'm guilty of...lust...greed...sloth...wrath(rarely)...envy and pride. Lol i'm pretty sure i'm not a glutton. Frickin thin now. Every1 keeps telling me that. Curses.

What else is seven? Well, i did some reading of me old bloggy and came up reading sumthing funny(Well, what wasn't? =P). I remembered reading an article called The Seven Deadly Sins of Dating!! Cool eh? ^^

Here's some links for you love wannabees.
For MEN
Easier to read version for men

Well, for the ladies, I gotta keep that a secret first. Heh heh ^^

Aite folks, haf a good new year to come! Bang! Jon out~

New Years in 5 days...

2008-12-26T23:25:00.000+08:00

Yup it's almost time for Jonny's famous New Year blog which is super super super super duper uber...long. From the old post-death erection to all those other shit i tell you on New Years, you know you love it =D

So its time to talk crap as always.

The Jon Dicky!
Today's word from Jon's Dic. is... "Bong bong"

Usage:
As an adjective, verb, noun.

Country of Origin:
Bong bong, first heard it in Form 2 Jasmin. From Cow cow!! ^^ Moooo

Definition:
Bong bong is not as strong as dong dong, stronger than cong cong, better than thong thong, lamer than gong gong, cooler than hong hong(Well, not really. Tai Hoong Kor is cooler =P), more awesomer than kong kong which is related to king kong, but not really, so king kong is a ding dong whose bing bong gets ring ring-ed to be bong-donged.

Used in a sentence:
Noun: "Jon!! You bong bong!"
Verb: "Don't do bong bong things!"
Adjective: "Blonds are bong bong"

Haha look forward to the "I'd Love A Girl" series coming TOMORROW!!! I think XD. It's gonna be like the checklist of what I'd love in a girl. Maybe I'll even use my video cam. Rofl, nah.

Lots of bong bong, Jon

Rofl. Merry Christmas!

2008-12-26T10:38:00.000+08:00

Haha ProtonJon rocks! I should've used this list for my Christmas Giveaway Bonanza... lawl. Merry Xmas ya'll! Ciaoz

Christmas! (in 45mins)

2008-12-24T23:15:00.000+08:00

Haha, i really have nothing better to do. I could sms b4 the lines get clogged up, but hey. It's jon. He waits till midnight to do anything. Even the aggro rush ya know!

It's been a year. One hell of a year indeed. What's changed about Jon? Nothing much. Still playing mind games. Still playing games. What's gonna change? Meh, secret. Wait till New Year's... I guess.

That last paragraph got me thinking. Which do we use to signify the end of a year? Christmas or New Year? Definitely New Year in its normal sense. But i'm pretty(handsome) sure that everyone's dinner party goes like "To next year" for the toast and stuff. I guess that Christmas is the time for giving up the year eh?

Speakin bout giving... Jonny's Christmas Special Giveaway Bonanza is gonna start in... 40 mins. Omg!

The spirit of giving(and taking) is still well and alive this day. I've noticed I've never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever given anyone presents on Christmas. Well, resolution for year '08... completed.

It's pretty sad to see that year after year, people have totally forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. And i'm so not talking about the spirit of giving. Christmas should be more about Jesus man. Think about it. Every year we look forward to a fat old man in a red suit giving kids toys. It's kinda pathetic. At least one thing about Christmas is more about Jesus. Christmas carols! Those songs are sickening once its Christmas itself but before then...It's all ya wanna hear.

Gotta clear sumthin of my chest... Enjoyment levels today are like...totally low. I really don't know what hit me this morning. Maybe it was Jem and that stupid song. But i think i've figured out that I honestly do not have any desire anymore. For Christmas I've been thinking of so many possible gifts to get from my folks. But the fact of the matter remains that... I dont want anything.

Ya'll know that i want a 360, but i thought it through, it'll totally kill my love life. I want a new phone, but that'll get old. I want a pool table, but that's gonna
kill me, cuz my folks will whoop my ass for all the friends over.

I guess i kinda fulfilled the question of Form 5...

What do you want from life?

Contentment.

Merry Christmas! Love Jon!

(Hey 15 mins to blog this. Cool)

Eve

2008-12-24T11:04:00.000+08:00

Jem - Flying High

Mellowness in da morning of Christmas Eve. Can't really think of any jokes to play around with rite now.

So I guess I should write out the presents I'm giving out this year right? Heehee i think it'll be more fun if it were more like wheel of fortune. Spin the wheel, win an awesome prize from Jonny. Well, the grand prize this year's worth 100 bucks. Yea, i kinda saved up for Christmas this year. ^^

We'll see who's lucky this year then.

Wishing you all da luck in da world...Love...Jon

Rewind : Part 2

2008-12-22T22:16:00.000+08:00

Hmm, before we begin, there's really something tricklin my mind about that "Add Video" button up there. Meh. See la tmr. Rofl. Himitsu Project : S, S for SAIKYOOOO XD

Enjoy Flying High by DJ Splash! Awesomeness on earth.

O right right right. What was i gonna talk about again...hoo dam i'm getting old. O yea! Look at the title *Bangs head* *Rofl,then died, then resurrected on Easter to die on Christmas then re-resurrect on Gong Xi Fa Chai*

*Reads previous post to see what happened so far*

I'd like to apologize to my readers who've pointed out to my dongness that it isn't John Denver. He's a frickin singah. Hahahahaha, man what a bummer. Thanks to Sona and Tinky ^^ Love ya'll. It's John Steinbeck. Rofl.

SO... The chinese came and screwed my life. Yadayadayada, Bryan chronicles. Well the DPT was the highlight of that year. First victim..*Cough*(Victim) Lol, yea i'm starting this thing where the cough repeats the actual thing. Double ownage. First victim. Heh still remember the picture, colour. The sheer finess. Amazing. Colgate. That's all i'm saying.

Back to the story... So i got my mind screwed up in Standard 1,2 and 3. So yea, i was a pretty nasty kid. So in the 4th story, the trial of the PTS. Well, I kinda fought with the teacher during the trials and she kinda wanted to rampas my paper. So ya see, if she had done so, my entire life would've changed. *Fast forwards* So i passed the actual PTS test. Now came the time, to jump or not to jump.

I've got an awesome way to explain my choice. Thanks to HIMUM for the advice. Well, in life, there's tons of mistakes that we've commited. But how would we know they were mistakes in the first place if we never did the mistake? How would we have learnt from those silly times to further better ourselves? So, if skipping a year of school was a mistake, I think not making the mistake is the bigger mistake in itself. Ya digg? Haha, well i know my theories are hard to understand. But try reading it a couple times. Maybe you'll get it.

Now, my first experience with gals in Standard 5. Scary stuff. Well, i remember it pretty dam clearly. I didn't have any friends, cept for Marcus. But i didn't see him back then. So, to not attract attention, i went to da back of da class. Sat down in da corner sulking. 2 mins later, a tall skinny gal called Audrey came up, pushed me aside, saying "Hey kid, that's my seat". Yes, i was da ninny of da sissies. So i kinda slid off some other dark corner. Had a tear in my eye. Thought that skipping a year really was a bad idea. And so, that's the whole first experience with gals thing. But what aboot the love part?

Story for another day.

Adios muchachos. Cya later alligator. Later while, crocodile. Buh byez.

So much for change

2008-12-22T08:22:00.001+08:00

Omg, i just realised my problem. WOT. Seriously, sum1 shoot me the next time i do it. O yea, gonna get a pic for that problem and to warn you folks too.

"Meh"
Lol, i see this word's gettin lots of attention from my readers. Er, its nothing meaningful or anything. Just sounds like heh, but more of a sarcastic way. S'all.

Okay, early morning blog. So what's there to talk aboot? Hmm, let's see. Well, i guess it's that time again where i tell you guys about me future projects and past ones and a couple of this year's highlights!!

Yea, the biggest highlight of this year. The Himitsu Project. It comes in 3 forms namely: Hitmitsu Project : I, V and Z. Each having its own meaning. So what's version "I"? Nah, i'll save that for later. Let's go with version "V". O wait wait wait...what is "Himitsu"? It means secret in Japanese lol. So much for the not-so-secret Secret Project. Okay, version V. I'm pretty sure no one knows what the hell it means so to understand this, it's rewind time! See the first blog on this page? Go to it and see the last few paragraphs. Yes, it's about the PM08 class page.

This class page...Wow, nightmares and sleepless nights. Lol, just over-dramatizin sorry. H : V means basically V for "We" cuz it affects the whole class. And also cuz it's eVil. Heh heh. So basically, Hitmutsu : V is that issue.

Himitsu : Z. That's about the Zone Enders. Techno group. I'll leave it as that.

Lastly, Himitsu : I. What does "I" sound like? "Ai" right? Ai in Chinese is Love. Go figure. Meh.

So I'm definitely not gonna say anything more bout the Himitsu Project, cuz its supposed to be that way.

Future Projects:
"The I'd Love a Girl if..." series! Lol. Just sumthin to mess around people's heads for kicks. Hopefully not on mah butt.
"Jon's love guru advise" sessions! Still got people asking for it. So HEY! Bring it. Marishka Hargitay to you too.

I'll blog bout Rewind later today! Makan bfast man..@@ Nasi Lemak...I love Malaysia, Truly Asia, also known as the penis of Asia! Pretty short =P, must be because of all that Chinese influence. Hahahaha. *Rumble in mah tummy*

Love, Jon ^^

Rewind : Part 1

2008-12-21T23:30:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, a little birdie(No not the little he-puppy downstairs) told me that HEY! Girls are cute. Girls are sweet, oh so sweet. And for kicks, he said: "They smell nice too". Wowza! He got me at the first one. So what did i do? Mistake #2 baby. What about mistake #1? Thats a story for another day my dear reader.

Well aren't I ambitious today? Starting off with a story like that. Guess i've got sum s'plainin(Cool thing i do with words...I'm awesome) to do. You see, every human has a defect that they themselves are obviously know but do not acknowledge. So what's mine? Hmm... I'm lazy, I'm cocky(U betcha baby), I sleep too much, I'm too thin, my hot : awesome ratio is imba, and lastly, like Yano, I hate fickle girls oh so much. Thats the 6 major things I can think of rite now.

So, back to the story. What is Mistake No. 2? It's not the awesome song by ATC which is my first techno song i've actually bothered to listen to. Mistake number 2 is actually, falling in love too quickly. Hey that makes 7 major defects! Cool, 3 more to 10! This story is a story I'm pretty sure everyone who used to read the old bloggie is familiar with. But now, it comes with awesome Jon's previous deviants called little jon(Yes, the little bro downstairs now - Lol, just kiddin) and my older selves! Woohoo!

Long long ago, in the not-so-ancient province of Petaling Jaya, there was a lad by the height of 115 cm at the age of 10. Barely 4 feet tall, not close to being wise or even witty told himself that he should hang around with more girls than guys. Boy was he wrong. You see, his first ever experience of meeting a girl was just taking his seat in class.

*Back track a little, to understand the next part of the story, we rewind back half a year* (Wow, story within a story. I'm good)

Back in the year...omg what year was it. Lets see...1991 plus...9 ok. Back in the year 2000, the government had an exam called PTS which stood for Pink Titties Suck. Lol, laughed again. Er lets see what did it mean again... Pre-Trial Semester? Nonono... Argh...Well, whatever. Anyways its da Malaysian test which lets ya skip a year. I passed it, but with at a brutal cost. *Again, to understand the next part, rewind 1 month* Before the PTS, there's a trial to see if you can sit for the exam and you see *Wow, 4 stories in one, beat that John Denver!* Okay, this is getting silly. But hey, I am. Anyways, back in Standard 1, I was the assistant class monitor to a Malay gal. All my friends were Malay, maybe it was my skin colour, maybe i sound too Malay-ish, but it was the best times in my life...Nah, 2nd...wait 3rd, o. 4th... Yea let's go with 4th best time in my life.

So it was the 4th best time in my life. Then came along... Chinese people. Yes, my fellow bretheren of the same race, how you changed the innocent, 18page of mathematics-a-day Jonathan into that... little runt who went further to get blacklisted in school at 9 years old. Yea, i was a beast in my time. Another day, another story i say. Anyways, i met up with 2 pals which i remember till this day. Bryan Leong Kin Nam and Don Ewe Teick Hong. Let's go with Bryan first. Ok, he's as short i was, spiky hair, rough voice, kinda jerky for his age, but i don't know what was i finding in him... Friendship that screwed my innocent mind i guess.

*5th story, mega kill lol*
The Adventures Of Little Jon and Bryan
Chapter one : The DPT.
Yes, the DPT. Oldest, dirtiest, smoothest, bestest, way to... eherm, check out panties. Lol. Yes, my fellow Opa members and my fellowship of love stricken dudes. The DPT technique was created in 1998, reapplied in 2003,4,5,6,7 Wonder why not 8. Meh. For newcomers, What IS the DPT? It is short for "Drop-Pick-Turn". How is it used to check out panties u say?

Step 1: The drop
Use any applicable item. Should be relatively small, as to increase time to pick up as you can say it so-happened to slip outta your grasp and possibly use it as an excuse to re-drop it again!
Just slide it off the edge of your desk, drop it, whatever it takes to get it on the floor. Thats all for step 1.

Step 2: The pick
Yes, the pick. The single most crucial expect of the DPT. When picking up the afor-mentioned paramore, one must do it in the slightest of way, not too flashy in any sense. Plain discretion. Thats all.
While reaching to pick up the item, we move on to...

Step 3: The Turn
The grand finale, that fleeting moment which is oh-so-magnifique. While reaching to pick up the item dropped...we turn our heads at an acute angle, relatively less than 90 degrees of the before mentioned reaching moment's head angle. One's eyes must be kept peeled at all times to ensure full capture of the prey. Yes, its the moment we reap our prize, that exquisite feeling of knowing the colour, the picture, the brand...and knowing that you're a total loser by any humane standards for doing this lame-as-hell move but HEY, you've already gone so far! You might as well do it! So you turn your head and TADAH! The prey is in your sights.

Mini chapter one : Know your prey
Ahh yes, as every hunter out there knows, knowing your prey that knows you knows no boundaries of how much they know you. So you must know that they know you know that they know you know they know. Because, if you don't know that they know you know they know that you know they know that what you know is what they know, boy. You are screwed.

Gentlemen, today we hunt the greatest beat known to mankind. The greatest feline. Most agile, elegant, beautiful... Sometimes not as predicted, but definitely worth the effort.

We hunt the pussy i say. Pussy. Lol.

To be continued, tomoro!

Happy 4 more days to Christmas Day...Day! Buh byez

Meh. Lazy title

2008-12-20T00:13:00.000+08:00

Lol, back in the day the titles were like "cool" sounding, then they had awesome " . : : . " but now, things have changed. I blog at 0000 hours. Yea baby. its like psychitude awesomeness. So, er...what's there to talk about(abooot)? Hmm... Lemme let ya in on the new shit I found in my life then. So here's sum music I'm listenin to:

DJ SPLASH - ZONE BREAKERS - END OF SUMMER

There's a sped up version by "andu". S'okay i guess.

GNARLS BARKLEY - CRAZY

Well, I may be crazzyy. But hey. It's an ok ok song. First heard the funny version by MadTV, which i'm passin out. Want the latest season 14 episodes? Got till episode 8 i think.

NORMAN PALM - BOYS DON'T CRY

Original by The Cure, this version is more mellow-ed and smooth. Video sux, but hey it has Jonathan Rhys Meyers from the Hugo Boss XX and XY perfume comercial. Lol how do i know that? Er, when women go crazy THAT much for a man. You gotta know about him.

So still, what am i watching? Definitely still How I Met Your Mother! XD

Kk, lazy to write now. Ciaoz folks. Btw! Gonna add sum of my Dota vids just to say that HEY. Jon's good. Lol.

Wow double kill?

2008-12-19T01:05:00.000+08:00

Lol sum1 can't sleep tonite. Its past one am. Yup. Jonny's changed. Freakky deaky. There could only be 2 possibilities y jon is up this late. Girlfriend? Lol, got oso wun tell. Or...deng deng deng. Just insomnia.

Yeap, its reason number 2. Haha. Okay, what's there to chit chat about this beauty-ful day... Hmm... Huh... Man, i'm boring. Ok let's make up a story.

Once upon a time there was a dark land where the streets are filled with poo, and black man named...Doo doo head known as Siva lived. This dark dark land was known as India, and the people are called Indiana Jonas Bros. Inc.(Lol, i laughed at this name....i'm too lame). Long story short, he died. The end.

Woohoo. That was fun. Okay, serious shit now. I'm startin a business. Love guru style all over again. Back in da day, i don't charge for consultation. Nowadays, business seems to b pickin up ya know? So anyways, need a chit chat? First one's free. 2nd one is like 20 cents. Rofl, i'm starting small ya know?

Anyways, just like any other lame-ass fake website that tries to sell you shit, here's some REAL(Fake... oh so fake) reponses from REAL(Also fake) clients from my 20 billion million gazillion trillion... billion customers!

Amanda : "He's so good. In bed"
Bob: "He's da man"
Charlie: "Lol, awesome"
Danni: "Hawt advise"

Hahaahaahahahaahaaahhahahaha...Laughter in the morning never felt so good. Well, anyways, i'm not gonna charge no one for consultation la. It's just tellin you guys that hey, old jon's back and ready to lend a listening ear to your love troubles. No more stabs kay?

Nightey night. Sweet dreams so much so that you get a tooth ache and hafta come to my dental clinic in the future so i can charge you extraorbitant(Sounds like a real word huh?) prices and make you go bankrupt then make you pay with your body by selling you off to the brothel nearby this little place called Chow Kit Road which the police are afraid of and Syed Hamid went there with like 20 cops to protect him and wow. I am so good at this.

Ciaoz folks, cya.

Love, Jon

Nae i say

2008-12-19T00:42:00.000+08:00

Wow, gayness to da maxness. Aye, it be that time...so close this time. My blog nearly died again. O well, 100 posts dreams are made in...China? Maybe lol. O yea, forgot to put up the pics *Scrambles to phone*

Shit...Wires these days are short. @_@

As usual, none of the pictures include my face. Cuz of Rule #2!
Yes, what IS this Rule? Why number 2? For the new comers to my awesome lameness, there's 3 rules to Jon.

Rule #1:
Seriously, never take me seriously.

Rule #2:
No flash photography, unless for pornography. (Wow, i should write children's poems)

Rule #3 is so secretive, even i dont know what the hell it is.
Haha, nah. Its just a secret. So heck.

Ok picture time. Sorry for the shit ass quality. It was made in China. Lol, jk. Stupid 1.3megapix phone cam...

Lol backness

2008-12-16T10:01:00.000+08:00

Woohoo! Malaysia, the land i love.

Well...I'm back, tadaima.

First thing's first. Happy Bday to Shan and Keeps! Da 2 big kahoonas of PM08, da awesomest most coolest class in college(*Cough* Self-proclaimed). Definitely Bigga Happy Bday to Shan shan cuz its da actual date! Woo~

Alright...time for sum of Jon's 9-year-old kiddy ranting about how much i hate China! Btw, if you wanna hear sum 17-year-old ranting, check out my other blog...which does not exist. Cool, so what's there to hate about Shang? Hmm... People, language, culture, architecture, food, women, men, wow...that's the whole thing! And some are even repeated just to show how much i hate them! ^^

Well, first's up is the people. #1 : Spitting.

God damn them all to heck and beyond. You can not walk 5 metres on the streets and not encounter a tiny puddle of spit of a chinese person.

#2 Language. Well, this one's just me. So... meh.

#3 Culture and architecture. This one annoys me just for all the wrong reasons. Feng shui is a joke i use quite alot, and learning about it now just took the fun outta it. Now i've gotta reinvent sum of da old shit... Architecture... Chinese people are creative, but only to sum extent, if u ask me, every frickin palace looks exactly the same and the scenery looks awesome and everything, but once you've seen one, you've seen them all.

Lastly's da food. Maybe its cuz my family's cheap or sumthing, but the chinese food in china sucks so much ass, it makes porn stars more like porn...er...what the heck is da opposite of a star...well whatever it is then. Malaysian Chinese food FTW!

Aite, so no more WOT(Wall of Text) from jon. Next bloggy's just plain pics i took wif me phone and sum with me dad's camera. Enjoy ^^

Hahaahaaha

2008-12-08T12:21:00.000+08:00

Well, tonight's da night i gotta leave for the motherland. Not sure if Sean's coming from tuition... We don't even talk much in da first place...awww heck.

So how was my day you didn't ask and i'm gonna tell you anyway? I got up at 6.30am. Had to go to church for Mother Mary's Birthday. AND...i'm sick. Awesome isn't it? Well, at least after mass, we went to Sri Pandhi...rofl. Chicken mmmm.....chicken.

Omg, just realised the amount of funny pics i drew haf gone missing. O well.

So anyways i just woke up from a 4 hour nap and i'm already dreading the trip in T-10hours.

What's there to say since i'm no longer gonna talk the old shit from the old blogs? Well, firstly an early shoutout to my brutha Keeps! I wont be around for your birthday...not like ur gonna call me out =P but hey. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAN!! XD

So if in China i do get to blog and shit, its gonna be one of those blogs where i'm not gonna show u guys any pictures...of me anyways. =X Man i still hate pics don't i? Nah just kidding. I'll definitely change... i "promised" kononnya (A) - (A), try that in Messenger, you'll get it -

Awesome possum...and bosom too! Ciaoz, and don't come back!

Jon

P.S. :

I hate you.

OMG, go away!

2008-12-07T22:18:00.000+08:00

Well, yes. It are I. Teh guy who made such scandalous claims and made a boy cry. I am the evil of the day, the brightness in the dark. The who-the-shit-shat-on-that-shit-which-was-near-that-other-shit-which-was-covered-in-so-much-shit....guy.

Wow, i should write about tongue twisters involving shit.

Well, anyways, this blog o' mine is gonna be just simple and clean. Back to how it was in the old days eh? Pics...Meh maybe. But i'll definitely try and fix that prob.

Anyways...what have i been doing since the early days? Well, not trying to compete with Kineda and all that stupid, hopeless dreams, I've kinda taken up well, *Suprise suprise* a break from pro-gaming.

Yes, the Tango, is kinda scurvin' - Yes i do not know what the hell it means - from his path of pro-gamerhood and all things gamely. So what's next for Jon? Hmm, firstly back to the old blog-o-sphere of course!

Gonna try and hit 100 posts like last time, in 50 days, starting from when i get back from Shang Hai...the motherland. So, hey, this new blog aint gonna tribute no one. It ain't gonna link no one. It ain't gonna do your homework/clean your windows/ do the frickin god-damned PM08 2nd colour page either!

So, here's an early warning. Don't come to this blog...EVER.

Lawl, South Park awesomeness. Reverse Psycho-logical-logic...logic.

So here's the current ALREADY SENT IN page for the college magazine:

The current incomplete 2nd page, which we all know who didnt do and lied about behind our backs whom i have forgiven entirely and not held any grudge against them what so ever and whose names i wont mention to deprive them of any social activity till they are 50 among ourselves and also those people who i am not making this blog to burn them in their unforgivable, forgiven sins of yester-months...lol. Never mind.

Well anyways, i saved their not-so-saved asses. by not doing the page and by telling you that i didnt. I did. But i wont send it. And i wont even post it. Genius. Wahahahah. Nah just kidding, nope i'm not, yes i is, o wait, maybe....yup...not.

So get lost and see you never again!

Jonny

-O yea, wanna join www.hatester.com? its gonna be AWESOME