iLAG - Part 1 - Physical Attraction

Rofl. I just noticed the title halfway... but HEY it's the latest Apple Inc. Product! The iLAG! Not suitable for noob gamers who love to give excuses about lag. May contain small chewy parts, to be chewed on only by women ;)

Alright!! It's finally here! Jon's perfect woman list. I think only the CCTV(Champion Chit-Chat...lol i've got nothing) gang knows about it. Well, anyways, its the champion team comprising of His Most Holy Champion-ness Jon "The Guan Jun" Ng, (Guan Jun is Champion in mandarin lol...thanks to KK for that) KK da Stalker extraordinaire, Heng Leong of the G1 fame, Tim tim of the...nothing fame lol, and Eugene the God of Penguins which will rule the world some day. And yes, the only female member allowed in: Estee ^^

Okay sooo here goes!

I'd Love A Girl - List #1 - (May have future updates)

1. Long hair, preferably ponytail...don't ask why.

2. Hairstyle...ponytail, but i like the ones with the bundled hair at the back with the chopsticks and scrungies and stuff all messed up...sexy.

3. BIG...boo...eyes. Well, i mean no offense to the chinese ladies, but as long as ur eyes are bigger than 1 cm...then okay. Lol. Eyebrows should be less hairy than mine... Lol i finally admitted it. *Heaven here comes Jonny!*

4. Nose...hmm...small small i guess.

5. Lips...Tiny tiny, pink pink, thin thin, kinda like mine lol. Totally Kissable. Where did i put my kissable bottle...meh, another day.

6. Chin, totally Roman chin. I hate clefts. People say you dont notice them. You DO. Well, i do anyways. What's the Roman chin? The one where it points out a little. Like mine ^^. Chinese peeps haf their chin at a 90 degree angle. Lame. =P

7. Face shape... Rounded. Fat-ish chicks rule.

8. Ears...Connected kinda freaks me out. So non-connected. As in, the bottom part of the ear isn't connected to ur head. Cuz i like earrings on a gal, i love em. But if its stuck to ur head... DAM

I think i've covered the face...right? Guess there aint no gal like that lolx.

Now the body. First and foremost, if anyone knows a little thing about Jon, they definitely know i hate big boobs. I find huge boobies as scary as Barbara Streisand without make-up. As scary as the news that Michael Jackson molested a kiddy. As scary as... a day without me. *Shivers* Hahahahha. Okay, lets rock.

1. Shoulders. Petite, so i can hug you all day long.

2. Neckline. Nothing like a giraffe is fine.

3. Boobies...28-32 B cup. Yes, i actually know my favourite size. Rofl.
Quote Estee: "Omg Jon... Might as well not have any boobs la"
My reply: "Er... so what's your size? ;)"

4. Definitely pear-shape. *Rawr*

5. Hips...Honestly, nothing appealing to me. But as they say: You're gonna need a cushion for the pushin'. Meaning, baby gotta have back for that doggy to go wild and not hurt his little play balls. LOL. Just used Sir Mix Alot with pornographic references. I'm awesome.

6. Arms have to be pretty long too. So we can slow dance all night long. And you can grab mah butt! Hahahaha...i keep laughing at my own jokes. What the lame.

7. Shaven or Eau De Naturale? Not gonna answer that... yet. Lol.

Alright...two-thirds done. Final part! GO

1. Thighs. Wow. Really? Hmm... Nice enough to do an Ultima Weapon, but not nice that it can choke me when i go give some mouth to the south. What's an Ultima Weapon? The Don Ewe(From Std. 2) Chronicles will reveal it.

2. Legs, daddy long legs. Please.

3. Knee cap? Lol, dam you Sona. Why this part of the body? Well, rounded i guess lol.

4. Toe-sy woesies. I like toes as much as i like chicken rice. I could eat them everyday, but i feel disgusted when I'm done. Cuz, chicken rice shop has rats. And toes are...toes. But i guess normally shaped toes are fine. o.o whatever that is.

5. Foot size! Thanks Sona. Finally. Something good. Okay, smaller leg than mine. Cuz DAM i remember my shoe size was the same as Joanna's. Frickin hell. It's either i'm small, or she's big.

Okay. That totally completes the physical iLAG part of the series. I hope. Smell ya later, Jon!